Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
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Top comments
HeroOfWar 0
For the win!
spitfire35 3
@31 Trying to prove the existence of Jesus with the Bible is the same as trying to prove the existence of orcs using the Lord of the Rings books.
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Comments (87)
Sekococo 0
**** religious debate ugh its just drag out the funniness of the fml. Am adventist(christian) and i would of laugh at the response i would'nt take it seriously. hey OP did you apologies and told her there's a way you can make her see god and it involes a bed? :D
bjcarson 0
Well I beleive that you should all suck my ****. cause im the return of Jebus. bishhhhhes!
gatorgrl1988 0
#125 of you had the app "useless facts" on your phone you would know hitler only had one ball. poor thing. LOL kick him in the ball!
gatorgrl1988 0
see this is one thing people dont talk about. the other is nOBAMA. bahhahha
SnickerVonBicker 0
1) He is real 2) that was a bitch move
mikrav 0
Jesus was real - and you don't have to be religious to acknowledge that. Contemporary writers, such as Josephus (yes, I know that reference is somewhat questionable), mentioned him. Not all religious people are idiots either - I, for example, am a devout Christian, believe in evolution, and hold a graduate degree.
spitfire35 3
please explain Adam and Eve then
talaina 2
This. Josephus isn't the only source either; Jesus is also mentioned in the writings of Tacitus, from whose work we've also taken some of the finer details of Roman history, however questionable they may be. His account of Jesus is no more or less questionable than any of the other parts of his history which are tentatively taught as "fact." spitfire35, I am Catholic and generally consider myself an intelligent person. I know that this is not the case for all Christians or all sects of Christianity, but personally I don't believe that every single word in the Bible has to be true. I believe in God because I believe I feel His presence in my life, not because of the prehistorical mythology of Adam and Eve (and as a student of ancient literatures who has also spent some time studying religions, that is what I personally believe it is, prehistorical mythology). I don't believe that every word of the Gospel, even, is transmitted exactly correctly, because I know how iffy manuscript transmission is for other ancient works. And having studied Hebrew for a semester my initial impression is that an exactly-accurate translation of the Hebrew portions of the Bible is extremely unlikely; I attended a lecture by a rabbi who argued the same thing. I don't believe in pushing my faith on anybody, and people can believe what they want to believe, and I know my faith isn't "rational" or "provable," and that's fine. But I do want you to know that some of us do actually think logically about things like Adam and Eve. We're not all stupid.
lo1337a 1
Hilarious, I would have said the same thing.
thinmint 0
that's a stupid topic anyway...what are you? her English teacher? 1200 words or less? dumb
perdix 31
No problem. You weren't going to get much action from her anyways.
Twi_lover_EC 6
As a Luthern I think Jesus did exsist, but I don't believe al the bible says. I am not going to argue about if he exist or not because everyone has what they believe in and I respect that.