Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
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Top comments
HeroOfWar 0
For the win!
spitfire35 3
@31 Trying to prove the existence of Jesus with the Bible is the same as trying to prove the existence of orcs using the Lord of the Rings books.
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Comments (87)
poeticpunk77 0
this is one of the few FMLs that literally made me laugh out loud. thank you OP. everyone else who is arguing about religion, shut up no one cares. this is not a forum for arguing beliefs, its place to comment on what happened to the OP. jeez. start a blog or something if you want to discuss the existence of jesus.
CYNNER 0
its irrelevant whether she is religious because, apparently, op doesn't care. i like to be with people who's beliefs mirror my own but some people don't care. whatever floats yoyr boat.
Skeltragor 0
That sounds pretty awesome to me!
Anteezy 7
These kind of FMLs always turn into a religious debate : /
thighsofglory 0
So? Go find yourself some nice heathen and nail her. You aren't ready for a beleiver, anyway.
Lurstack 0
Haha dude that is ******* hilarious. That sounds exactly like something I would do.
IHaveThePower 18
Yeshua Ben Yosef was a real rabbi in that time period who founded Christianity. She could definitely talk to him. Jesus Christ, however, is a mostly fictional character based on him, written in a particular style of evangelical allegory, by Yeshua's disciples decades later. That said, it'd probably be interesting to chat with a guy who thought the apocalypse was gonna show up in a couple years and he'd just barely missed it. Or said all that stuff about 'go take care of people and be a decent person', most of that stuff we can pretty well attribute to him.