Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
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Top comments
HeroOfWar 0
For the win!
spitfire35 3
@31 Trying to prove the existence of Jesus with the Bible is the same as trying to prove the existence of orcs using the Lord of the Rings books.
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Comments (87)
maxxattack 0
that's what you get for liking a girl who loves Jesus more than she could ever love you
jpest17 5
this is not a fyl this is a Fu, where u hitting on her caz that Is just wrong, people with the same beleives show get married.
cms_family 0
Nobody should tell anybody what they should believe in. That is what I believe.
ptellini 7
these comments are very interesting. I happen to a Christian and I have no doubt in my mind that Jesus existed and did perform miracles. Someone said he was a rebel. He wasn't a rebel, he was against the hypocrites and was showing people the true way.
tick_tock 0
Whether you believe that Jesus was the Messiah or not, Jesus was a man that existed and was crucified by the Romans. To say that there is no proof, would be the same as to discount the existence of Julius Caesar, Henry the Eigth, or any other person in history that you physically did not see with your eyes. You most likely did not meet your great-great-great-grandfather, but that doesn't mean he never existed. This really is a very silly FML, and is only an FML in the sense that the OP knows nothing of history.
acesarge 0
This is the funniest FML I have ever read. FYL Also to all you christians as long as you don't try and shove your beliefs down my throat I have no problem with you. My way of looking at things is if there was one all powerful god why would people not know of him until other humans told them of him. I am not trying to convert anyone to atheism I am just stating my reasoning. You can worship a flying spaghetti monster or a magical unicorn for all I care, as long as you don't try and have your morality made in to law or use it as an excuse for killing people I have no problem with it. @212 You are the kind of christian I respect. Both my parents are Luthern and they respect what I believe. They don't agree with it but they don't give me shit about it.
nadsm 0
#228, Not trying to "shove my beliefs down your throat", but to answer your question in my own opinion: "My way of looking at things is if there was one all powerful god why would people not know of him until other humans told them of him. " As far as Christianity goes, there was a huge flood that killed every human and animal besides what was on the Ark, "Noah's Ark". If those were the only people that survived, and Noah believed in and trusted God, then theoretically all of the people on the Earth are descendants of Noah, correct? Although you don't believe this, just bear with me. So, if this happened, then really all of the other religions came after Christianity, including Atheism, which means that that is fabricated. Now, as far as before Noah, obviously people didn't believe in God, as a part of the reason for the flood in the first place. Also, I would assume that someone had to have told people about God in the first place, because when the first people ever came into existence, they probably didn't just get up and say "Hey, I know, this one guy GOD made me!", but rather had to be told. As I believe, it was Adam and Eve, and the person to tell them would have been God himself.
rjrudman 0
You'd probably be in jail for your atrocious spelling.
42billybob 5
ok... by historical document standards, technically there's more evidence that jesus existed than a lot of people we have no problem accepting the existence of.
Bashar_fml 0
Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam Sunbeams are not made like me. this is so boring
liuken 3
Agreed, this is fmylife not convertme.com. NEXT
nadsm 0
hahaha that's an actual website.. i just typed it in. wow i'm lame.
Screwyourlife 0
You deserve it for dating a religious girl