Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
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Top comments
HeroOfWar 0
For the win!
spitfire35 3
@31 Trying to prove the existence of Jesus with the Bible is the same as trying to prove the existence of orcs using the Lord of the Rings books.
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Comments (87)
cutebuttshorty 0
Jesus was real!!!!! idk if he really was Gods child but he was in fact real!!
Scourge87 0
OP, kudos to you. And don't falter over that girl too much, chances are the difference in opinion and view in the world would make any relationship a pain in the ass. To people claiming "Jesus was real OMG, nub !". If you thought a little bit further it could come to mind that this pretty religious girl the OP talks about wanted to meet the biblic Jesus, which is, according to all atheists as well as most agnostics and believers who support other faiths, a huge invention. Plus, "Jesus was a real historical person" is quite a stretch. I am sure there were hundreds if not thousands of people called Jesus at that time. Maybe one of them was a revolutionary who became a martyr for some cause and then a bunch of smartass religious preachers used his memory and image. And this is just maybe, because we are talking about events supposedly occurred at least more than 18/19 centuries, with records which cannot be really verified and comparing them to writings of some super-human who did magicky stuff. As far as Im concerned tho, it could hardly matter less. And other hand, many people here need a little lecture on comparative faiths, and understanding Christianity is not the only religion, or what agnosticism and atheism are (and may I add, saying atheism is a belief is pretty much like stating darkness is a type of lighting, it only makes any frigging sense if you consider belief/light as the "natural state" of things which is an entirely subjective basis). Good day to you all, and don't forget to damn different people to hell ;D
Piklink 0
I don't care whether or not Jesus was real, all I care is that you should've thought before you spoke. YDI.
nadsm 0
exactly. this is really all it comes down to.
div01 2
f her life for thinking she can meet a glorified rebel and have him perform miracles. who did she say after that, santa claus? a ******* unicorn?
capricaz 0
WIN! You should find someone not religious like you. If she's that into it it will ruin any relationship anyway.
screambloody 7
FYL. My answer would be exactly the same as yours :)
lolitalouest 0
umm tarstasticx...that was Moses. and you know why I did it? "because I'm god that's ******* why" really though Jesus was an actual living person but not the son of god. I think he was a charismatic frat boy overdosed on somthing going "hey look I bet I convince everone I'm the son of god dude" also that's bullshit. I'll inform you that I had lunch with Santa clause, Jesse Jackson and the holocaust! so hah you can meet things that arnt real...suck it
oh_dee 0
Has anybody else noticed that the atheists seem to be the ones shoving their opinions down people's throats, and NOT the religious "crazy" people that they seem to be so afraid of?
null_fml 11
Read #50, you'll see.
nadsm 0
#50's still isn't shoving a belief down anyone's throat.
Scourge87 0
I would say sensible believers know the best way to mantain their faith is not having it questioned, but rather ignore opposition (we will burn in hell for it after all). Plus, they may not want to enter a rowdy and useless argument against what seems overwhelming opposition. As for atheists, since they have no institution or lobby to back them up (despite some organized attempts), and possibly do the opinion/belief/practice throat-down-shoving, they have to speak for themselves. Which is just as well IMO. G'day.
ElMundio87 0
#140 nope, you are just making that up
Darkon 0
@140, They don't seem to do it as much on forums, but have you been to a rock concert lately? Every time there is at least one religious nut-job that you have to just about shove out of the way to get into the place; that and born agains...
null_fml 11
Hmmm... when I went to an Iron Maiden concert a year or two ago, there were no religious nutjobs around. I guess after around three decades the nutjobs finally got tired of claiming Satanism on them for the title of one of their songs.
shekezim 0
I sometimes get more entertained reading the comments than the actual story. haha :)
Person1233 13
HELL YES! Religious debate FTW! *gets popcorn*
QWERTYCommander 5
*gets drinks* Ooh, this is the best part! Also OP, YDI. If you felt that way about her religion, then you obviously were looking at her body and not her personality.
null_fml 11
I'm surprised this hasn't been closed down yet. I see countless minor debates, three or four medium ones, and one major one! Quite fun while it lasts.