Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
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Top comments
HeroOfWar 0
For the win!
spitfire35 3
@31 Trying to prove the existence of Jesus with the Bible is the same as trying to prove the existence of orcs using the Lord of the Rings books.
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Comments (87)
dudeitsdanny 10
He didn't even get the handshake
wazdog 4
OP is stupid. Few people doubt Jesus existed. It's the matter of deity that is contested.
stormin972 0
Jesus was real. You're just an idiot.
AxCxDxDx 0
She pretty and religious, or pretty religous?
AxCxDxDx 0
was* haha im tired...
purple91 8
She deserves it for being a ignorant bible preacher.
enlitenbank 0
Jesus as an actuall person probably did exist accord to a majority of historians. Some hippie philosoph. Im not religious, because I hold facts high. So get yours right :)
ScaryGirl 4
YDI for liking someone that religious. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against religious people, but if they try to preach their religion on me, we have a problem. She seems like the type who would do that.. And to all religious people who read this, you think denying scientifically proven facts makes you smart?
enlitenbank 0
The scientifical fact is that Jesus as a prophet/crazy person did exist.
stormin972 0
So it's a scientifically proven fact that Jesus DOES NOT exist??? Wow that's news to me. I guess Columbus and Julius Ceasar were just made up as well. That's a scientifically proven fact, right?
settledownbeavis 0
LOL at you comparing "jesus" to columbus and julius caesar. congratulations for being an idiot.
ElMundio87 0
they are all significant historical figures, what's your problem?
enlitenbank 0
Atheists using faith and hope pretending Jesus didn't exist are as stupid as christians using faith and hope pretendng he was a god and did magic. You're all morons deaf to facts.
enlitenbank 0
Accord to some logic here, the Pope and churches doesn't exist. Clever.