Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML
Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
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Top comments
HeroOfWar 0
For the win!
spitfire35 3
@31 Trying to prove the existence of Jesus with the Bible is the same as trying to prove the existence of orcs using the Lord of the Rings books.
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Comments (87)
KarelPhoenix 0
I would've done the same thing.. Except I would've did it on purpose..
WorkThatButt 2
Jesus is fake.
enlitenbank 0
And the pope is made of plastic, and churches are holograms. No, just because he didnt do the miracles, doesnt mean he didnt exist. What kind of logic is that.
WorkThatButt 2
Jesus is fake.
nadsm 0
Wow! What a wonderful point! So great, that it's your only argument! Congrats.
IMB916 0
That. Is an epic win.
Acuvue 0
You're an absolute idiot, OP. Religious or not, there are very few who deny that Jesus existed. Yes, people disagree on whether or not he was the son of God or just a crazy person, but SECULAR documents confirm that the Jesus we talk about did exist. I have no problem with people believing what they feel is right, but at least try to know what you're talking about.
enlitenbank 0
Im glad there are a few intelligent people here at least. Congratulations, people eagerly trying to deny that Jesus existed. You are just as retarded as the Christians. Both ramble on about personal opinion rather than facts.
waterynuggets 0
"but SECULAR documents confirm that the Jesus we talk about did exist. " O RLY.
capricaz 0
Yes he did exist but obviously the girl meant she wanted to meet god and obviously he said he isn't real. Why else would she want to meet some dude who she did not worship?
nadsm 0
waterynuggets, YES even secular documents confirm that Jesus was real. no, these documents don't say He is the Son of God, but these secular documents do say that He existed. So before you go all "ORLY" and arguing someone's point, maybe you should know a few facts first.
waterynuggets 0
Yes, I know, he used his birth certificate as a placemat @ Chipotle.
catkat1988 17
Jesus was a real, historical person, whether you believe him to be God's son or just charismatically illusional. Personally I lean towards the latter, but that's irrelevant. You can't deny that he was real and gained a LOT of influence on the whole concept of religion (I say religion and not just Christianity because Islam is inspired by both Judaism and Christianity the same way as Chrisianity is inspired by Judaism).
larva 0
ROFLOLMAO
posampo 0
omg I love you eternally for referencing that :D
imhilarious 0
Jesus is ma homedawg so quit yo bitchiness!
Phallus_fml 0
Dumb!!
FoundManyLemons 0
LOL jackass