Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
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Top comments
jgardner12 0
Big whoop, you were talking on the phone. If she cared she can **** off.
katherinebby17 28
that's not really a big deal you didn't know she had burns
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Comments (109)
philadelphianus 0
get off the damn phone! i never use my phone in the store, except to answer and say "ill call you right back". but still... that's not really your fault just a sucky coincidence
aykay 0
FMLs seem to be getting lamer and lamer.
thisisher 0
#35: I agree wholeheartedly. Nothing on here makes me laugh anymore.
NickAlert 1
That's not an FML. That might've gave her some enlightening
chanceuse_fml 0
What the hell? People call it mobiles in other countries. *Gasp* Yes, there are more countries out there besides the U.S. All of you who clicked YDI for the simple sake of the OP calling it a "mobile" is an idiot.
urrka 0
YDI for the last part of your FML. You aren't the least bit sorry, are you?
babble 0
LOL #24
666midnight 0
This really isn't a FML...
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Why is it so difficult for people to comprehend that this site has worldwide traffic? People like you make all Americans look like ignorant *****, so please educate yourselves.
bammer0806 0
"I Guess I was Wrong" ?? you deserved that one douchebag!