Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML
Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML
Today, I accidentally shut the door on someone who was walking behind me. After he opened the door, I turned, looked him sincerely in the eye and said, "Suffering". I meant to say sorry. FML
Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML
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Top comments
jgardner12 0
Big whoop, you were talking on the phone. If she cared she can **** off.
katherinebby17 28
that's not really a big deal you didn't know she had burns
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Comments (109)
mattmag 0
ydi for talking loudly on your mobile.
Uzumaki_fml 0
I want my 10 seconds back that you wasted. Douscher.
Trix_Disorder 20
#7 They're probably not from the US, or they are older. What's with people nit-picking at word choice, seriously.
nmlutgen 11
Trollers bro, trollers. They attack grammar and stupid shit for attention and to try and piss people off.
xClarkGable 0
Yes, you deserved it for using the word mobile and talking on your phone loudly. I hate those kinds of people.
ohreally123 0
"I guess I was wrong"? You're an asshole.
rose33red99 0
When I read this I thought you set it up so cutely lol
rukusrazor 0
Looks like you're the one that got burned.
gregthestrange 3
#18, icwatudidthar.
ohhhhshizzz 0
I agree with everyone who clicked YDI. who says mobile? #13: everyone nitpicking makes it me actually get my time back from reading this stupid post. And I think it's seriously obnoxious for people to talk on their cell really loud in a public place, which is why I text. Plus, this isn't even a real FML. Where's the funny?
Trix_Disorder 20
#18 Oh God, that's SO BAD. DX