Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
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Top comments
thesunsetglow_fml 8
You should have peed on him.
rofflewaffle 9
Hopefully you're just a grower, not a shower. At least you don't go around looking at other dudes' dicks like that kid.
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Comments (107)
phorcep 0
FYL OP for not kicking the kid in the stomach.
travis1980___ 0
Should have followed him in and given him a swirlie. Then stomped on his junk.
iSpaceShuttle 0
Why, did I just read that in justin beibers voice? O.O
adelei 0
should have turned around and peed on him.
fookinprawn 3
oohh.. awkwardddd
Brandelyn 0
you should have smacked the kid
chevy1969 0
Ur a ginger so urs is proly 1 inch
Iclare_Krual 4
Kids are annoying, and damn that was none of his business, if I were you, I would of told him, "Not like yours is any better" he replies to that saying his is bigger, make him show you his dick, I wouldn't care if I had to go to prison, it would of been worth it!
Crncj 0
sounds like something my future bf would do
mavman79 5
If he walked into a stall he obviously can't boast.