Inappropriate, Weird, Awkward and Miscellaneous: What the actual ****?

What the actual ****?

By samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 3 035

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Same thing different taste

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 4 525

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 296

You deserved it 4 356

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 711

You deserved it 4 480

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 2 605

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 721

You deserved it 2 668

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 187

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 288

You deserved it 7 868

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 060

You deserved it 2 054

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 10 094

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 1 754

deeznutzismine 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 3:18

Don't you know the urinal rule of skipping one urinal? Your fault.

alpuppy 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 9:10

why has he seen so many penis'?

Comments

GhettoWangstuh 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 3:09

rofl that wouldve been epic

deeznutzismine 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 3:18

Don't you know the urinal rule of skipping one urinal? Your fault.

toaster468 0

Saturday 24 April 2010 3:54

ah yes, Man's golden rule.

liamk_26 16

Monday 9 March 2015 23:05

Seriously and I don't think you should be standing far enough away that he can easily peak over and see it

chrisbeaudoin 26

Tuesday 30 August 2016 5:52

Sometime there are only 2 or there might be other people.

kristin_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 4:20

even I know about the unspoken pattern to picking a urinal rule and I'm a chick.

partytime4321 5

Saturday 10 November 2012 3:16

Hate it when there's only 2 or a lot of people

midnyte 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 6:41

So why was he peeking at your tool again? ....

alpuppy 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 9:10

why has he seen so many penis'?

schulzy16 9

Wednesday 25 June 2014 20:41

He probably went to school where there is gym class and showers

Rollercoaster_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 13:59

#12 doesn't understand...

greenfairy_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 0:30

backs up my theory that all men are secretly gay.

Youser 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 5:28

I'm a man and I'm not gay.

imnutsss 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 18:38

woohoo! i agree! and she said "secretly gay", dude.

d_dh2310 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 8:37

#1.. would have been hillarioussssss

bigweber77 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 11:02

SUPER gay.

dirtygerbil08 1

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:43

Some people are so awkward. Urinal conversation is possibly the most awkward thing ever. I'm sure he was joking.

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The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 679

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 71 662

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 520

You deserved it 2 878

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 846

You deserved it 5 545

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 784

You deserved it 67 543

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 004

You deserved it 17 620

Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 302

You deserved it 1 008

What the actual ****?

Same thing different taste

Chub rub

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