Inappropriate, Weird, Awkward and Miscellaneous: What the actual ****?

What the actual ****?

By samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 3 042

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Same thing different taste

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 317

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 731

You deserved it 4 486

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

Stinky and gross

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 355

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 727

You deserved it 2 677

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 190

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 302

You deserved it 7 872

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 075

You deserved it 2 060

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 10 098

deeznutzismine 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 3:18

Don't you know the urinal rule of skipping one urinal? Your fault.

alpuppy 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 9:10

why has he seen so many penis'?

Comments

GhettoWangstuh 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 3:09

rofl that wouldve been epic

deeznutzismine 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 3:18

Don't you know the urinal rule of skipping one urinal? Your fault.

toaster468 0

Saturday 24 April 2010 3:54

ah yes, Man's golden rule.

liamk_26 16

Monday 9 March 2015 23:05

Seriously and I don't think you should be standing far enough away that he can easily peak over and see it

chrisbeaudoin 26

Tuesday 30 August 2016 5:52

Sometime there are only 2 or there might be other people.

kristin_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 4:20

even I know about the unspoken pattern to picking a urinal rule and I'm a chick.

partytime4321 5

Saturday 10 November 2012 3:16

Hate it when there's only 2 or a lot of people

midnyte 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 6:41

So why was he peeking at your tool again? ....

alpuppy 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 9:10

why has he seen so many penis'?

schulzy16 9

Wednesday 25 June 2014 20:41

He probably went to school where there is gym class and showers

Rollercoaster_fml 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 13:59

#12 doesn't understand...

greenfairy_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 0:30

backs up my theory that all men are secretly gay.

Youser 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 5:28

I'm a man and I'm not gay.

imnutsss 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 18:38

woohoo! i agree! and she said "secretly gay", dude.

d_dh2310 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 8:37

#1.. would have been hillarioussssss

bigweber77 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 11:02

SUPER gay.

dirtygerbil08 1

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:43

Some people are so awkward. Urinal conversation is possibly the most awkward thing ever. I'm sure he was joking.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 137

You deserved it 4 976

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 7 511

The Top

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 3 077

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 329

You deserved it 16 753

Today, my gallstones flared up so badly an ambulance was called. I needed the strongest painkillers they could supply and had even more at the hospital. When my boyfriend came to visit me, instead of comforting words, he told me that "being kicked in the balls is still worse". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 075

You deserved it 306

Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 606

You deserved it 392

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 939

You deserved it 3 240

Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 179

What the actual ****?

Same thing different taste

Stinky and gross

Chub rub

Top comments

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