Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
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Top comments
thesunsetglow_fml 8
You should have peed on him.
rofflewaffle 9
Hopefully you're just a grower, not a shower. At least you don't go around looking at other dudes' dicks like that kid.
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Comments (107)
fruitycheerios 0
That's gotta be awkward.....
EmmyGrangerDC 0
Seinfeld reference. Haha(:
wettcherry 0
lmao!! riiiight!!
Inspired22 11
She's your wife. You know all that shit comes out sooner or later. If she had a problem with your size, you would know. Who knows what was going on in that sick and twisted kid's head? Who the hell does that? Not any balanced person. I think you're good. Oh, and btw, it's not the size, it's what you do with it! She is your wife for a reason. ;-)
j_cat187 20
good comeback: fu@king f@get why r u looking at my dick?
mw2isbeast 0
umm bout tht i said the same thing to a guy in the mall peeing no joke
iliketurdles 7
So, you're a closet gay too? Good to know.
meintx 9
You should have told him his mom likes it. Lol
RedPillSucks 33
Tell him you feel sorry for his boyfriend, since he needs to go around looking at other guys penis.
perdix 31
Y'know, #16 was also a Seinfeld reference -- same episode, in fact.
thatgingerkid 0
man up and pass 7 inches