Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
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Top comments
Demonfish 14
Your grandfather is a legend! Tad cruel though :P
unknown_user5566 27
Grandparents: always there to remind us how "spoiled" they think we are.
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Comments (108)
CrissyyyS2 22
Just passing his old wisdom days to you (:
tjohnson19 6
Man up
mahdi8130 8
One day I hope to be like your grandpa.
SkoomaKi 28
The Romans had it much better, if I am correct they used sponges on a stick. I would prefer that to toilet roll, any day.
Demonfish 14
And if memory serves, said sponge-stick was also stored in a jar of vinegar.
pmadNess 16
Vinegar cleans as well as disinfecting. I think that is what I will provide in the bathroom at my house. History gives such rich lessons!
gc327072 31
Y'all are ******* disgusting, I'm sticking with paper.
X_Codes 11
@44 - Just think of the refreshing, clean sensation on your behind when it's been wiped clean with a sponge-stick.
EpicBlondie89 19
44- toilet paper, leaving behind lovely white pieces of paper, or nice cool vinegar sponge. Think some changes are in order. Lmao
astralvagan 20
Well, explain to him that we use more shit tickets than he did in his day....
iamzikang 17
Your grandpa is a troll
WiseGuy79 14
I was thinking the same thing - Grandpa might have wanted a cheap laugh...
TrailblazerSS 5
Just wait until he starts saying "back in my day, we lived in caves." Then your life is truly ******.
perdix 31
Don't shake hands with Grandpa... Or eat any food he has touched. You never know when he's going to go Old School on the crapper for old times' sake.
Posthuman 26
At least he was home. Imagine not having anyone to get you anything
LetThereBeFMLs 10
At least then OP could get out of the toilet naked and retrieve some TP. Although bumping into a family member unexpectedly may result in an even more disastrous FML.