Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML
Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofa to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it, and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML
Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML
Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, I seized at the bottom of the stairs and broke a rib. I don't have enough money to pay the bill. I don't know what to do. FML
Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
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Top comments
broderickc 13
Dick move dad, dick move
emirie 21
Father of the year award.
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Comments (51)
TogeBara 12
Having broken my bones before, I woulda broken them again to prove a point. If you are still living with him, he would have probably had to pay for your hospital bills. Just saying
hermitknut 22
Regretfully, that wouldn't have worked - OP is British, and medical help for broken bones wouldn't have cost his father a penny. But I like the way you think :)
TogeBara 12
well, just between you, me, and the entire interwebs. I jumped off a piece of playground equipment when I was younger and fractured my right shin, by the time I got to the hospital it had went through both bones. Hurt like crazy, but once I was at the hospital it wasn't NEARLY as bad (wasn't moving and what not). Didn't know how healthcare works there, but I might've still done it just to make him feel bad.
jw90 18
That's why you always use two people to move big objects.
llnursingll 10
your dad would be called business savy, here in the U.S. lol. well at least you aren't hurt.
chosha_fml 27
That's going to make for an interesting conversation when he's having a heart attack and you are...thinking about...calling an ambulance.
Dcm210 19
Did you take the books off?
simplykolesh 17
Why exactly were you attempting this by yourself anyway?
kiaora_fml 11
I would of snuck the $50 back and when he demanded to know where it is and threatens, tell him fine and to go to the police....sure they would love to hear what really happened. I would never do this to my kids!
csjmcc 11
Yeah, your dad is a dick!
greenmen 12
You were never rich so dosent matter as long as you have your bones
simsgirlgem 25
I have opted for broken bones why because if mom is still around nothing is worse than a pissed wife trust me my own father knows and she won't be happy her child was hurt because dad was a greedy ass XD