Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
PIVOT!
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
PIVOT!
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML
Saved
Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofa to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it, and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML
Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML
No pain, no sleep
Today, after going to the bathroom I went to bed. I have a very sturdy bookshelf that sticks halfway to the right of the door as I enter my bedroom. I had dumbly turned off the lights as I didn't want to bother with them before bed. I ended up kneeing the bookshelf, hard, now I'm wide awake and in pain. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Another Luigi moment
Today, I seized at the bottom of the stairs and broke a rib. I don't have enough money to pay the bill. I don't know what to do. FML
Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML
Sneaky
Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML
Top comments
broderickc 13
Dick move dad, dick move
emirie 21
Father of the year award.
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Comments (51)
perdix 29
He probably used the money to get pissed at the local pub. He had to drown the shame that his own offspring turned out to be a weak tit,
Ki11erC 18
Epic and probably true!
Bloink 25
Shouldn't have tried to do that yourself in the first place :p
TyT63 12
you should have disassembled it then taken it down the stairs
corporatescoundr 25
That sounds like my friend's dad. He can't do anything to help you unless he's being compensated in some form or fashion. SMH at least you got it moved and you're not injured. Hope the bookshelf was worth £50
Racaro 3
Your dad is quite the opportunist!
miasaur 11
sucks
theBadGuy37 9
There's a button for that.
perdix 29
You can't haggle the price when he's got you over a barrel -- or under a bookshelf, as the case may be!
anarchy94 7
I can imagine him saying this as he's pressing the bookshelf down on you with his foot.
Gingerette 8
Sounds like daddy is a negotiating shark.
caitlinbblack 14
I think the dad was saying how much is his help to save him worth? Would he rather have broken bones or give away money in return for his help