Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was texting while walking up the stairs to my porch. When I looked up, I saw someone standing behind the porch door, and was so scared that I fell backwards down the stairs. Turns out, it was just my reflection. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs of my apartment building because I thought my cat was a ghost. FML
Today, after a month of things going wrong in my life and finally getting better, I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. Then, I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, my roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Dog-gone it!
BrownBaby2012 0
The only reason you guys hate Snickers is because she actually cares about the future state of the English language. Maybe if you guys did too, she wouldn't be such a grammar Nazi.
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Comments (85)
blastvortex 4
Take note, OP. This means that standing and petting your dog right at the top of the stairs is a bad idea. Duh.
scarletlily_fml 3
Oh please. Dramatic much? "I almost died!!!OMFG"
Ajjas013 6
If someone really wanted to impersonate perdix they would capitalize the p. Impersonation fail :(
hammertime217 0
i lovethe last sentence of this fml I almost dead for no reason
applesmoothiee 2
:) it sounds so much funnier when you say it with a typo
icayal 0
you didn't almost die.
applesmoothiee 2
Geez I'm gullible :/
Gavik 0
You didn't almost die, and if you did, it would have been for the man of the house. YDI.
101Alex101 0
haha
H8fulwanker 1
Why not? It's not like the dog is being helpful. It was trying to kill OP! It's involuntary man slaughter, whether it meant it or not, it's still breaking the law! Since PETA wankers like to treat animals like humans, why don't we all treat them like we'd treat criminals when they do something wrong? Put it down and eat a hotdog while at it.
marquisallover 0
your life sucks nuff said