Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I was texting while walking up the stairs to my porch. When I looked up, I saw someone standing behind the porch door, and was so scared that I fell backwards down the stairs. Turns out, it was just my reflection. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML
Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs of my apartment building because I thought my cat was a ghost. FML
Today, after a month of things going wrong in my life and finally getting better, I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. Then, I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, my roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML
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Top comments
Jimboom 12
Dog-gone it!
BrownBaby2012 0
The only reason you guys hate Snickers is because she actually cares about the future state of the English language. Maybe if you guys did too, she wouldn't be such a grammar Nazi.
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Comments (85)
skyshark 0
Better your brother than a Jehovah's Witness.
chibikari 0
You are a ******* asshole.
Flamp1 0
YDI for thinking family isn't worth dying for...
epaisseur 0
ydi for thinking you could of died
oxrox 0
How can you say that number one? We don't put people down when they do something bad.
Anteezy 7
Maybe because animals and people are not the same, anyway OP you didn't almost die. Still it probably hurt.
fisheatsbear 6
actually... that's called the death penalty
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
You euthanize the ones you love. That's just common knowledge. And it seems successful troll is successful.
perdix 31
jenninsac is right, because it's a Dog Eat Dog World out there! The dog tried to kill the OP by knocking him/her down the stairs, so the OP has to try to kill it before it can try again. Fortunately for the human, we live in packs that include paid mercenary dog assassins (aka vets), so he/she will most likely not fail as badly as the dog. This is why the humans control the remotes with our opposable thumbs, and the dogs have to watch whatever is on! PS: I love dogs, except ones that try to kill me.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
@perdix - so it seems my dog assassins failed, huh?
anonmc 0
a really good reason to teach your dog to wait at the top of the stairs until invited down, after you've made it down them safely. just sayin'.
perdix 31
BSR, vets are dog assassins only as a side line, like a hooker who will also bring in the newspaper. My vet takes good care of my bitches, but if I ever need (wink!) The Special, I know where to go. Check your dog's Google searches and if after the endless variations on "canine **** +'people-style'" you see "kill master," you might want to put in an order for The Special from a competent and ruthless vet. God luck, dog, er, I mean, bro.