By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 527
You deserved it 6 244

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

So what happened over a year ago? Did you bump into a girl's ass in a check-out counter line or something? I'm hassling you, buddy, but I'm on a bit of an ass-touching drought myself, butt I'm hoping to fix that sooñ.


manMadeFAIL 7

haha got get a life u perv... u probably play black ops to 1:00 in the morning

Never played the Call of Duty franchise in my life.

I wonder how this ass-to-shoulder thing works. Is it trollphysics?

Did u whip it out the next time she walked by!?????

I agree, should have whipped ur dick out and rubbed it on her shoulder and see if she likes it

you have given it a little tap, and then wink at her when she turns around.

KingDingALing 9

I will resume that cheating argument now. How could you do this to me, Doortje?! You have broken my heart. :( KaySL never did this to me! Probably because everyone was too scared to stalk his scary ass, but that's beside the point! You must be punished...violently. I was thinking an ass-raping with a strap on that has rusty nails on it will do it.

I went to the cops, and they told me the best thing to do when you have a stalker is to just ignore them. So I thought I should let you know that will be my strategy from now on.

KingDingALing 9

Ehh...I'm done stalking people. It's too much work. I'm just going to go back to sitting on my ass while eating ice cream straight from the bucket.

RedPillSucks 31

You make that sound like its a bad thing.

it is a bad thing what do u wanna get fat ???

uhhohh5252 0
mintcar 9

So? Oh haven't touched a girls ass in over a year. I just don't understand what the big deal is. Clearly a guy thing?

ilovepandaz 2

Omg finally someobe who agrees

it means he hasn't had any sort of intimacy in that long?

girls don't ever understand that guys have certain needs...ya we don't just say that or fun. we really do have "certain needs"

I have certain needs too... it's not just a guy thing..

craving intimacy is a completely normal thing. and it's most definitely not only a guy thing. since you don't seem to get it, either you've never been intimate or you have someone to be intimate with now. because it certainly becomes something you miss after a while.

mintcar 9

Being intimate is quite different from being excited because a girl brushed her ass against your shoulder. Intimacy is very personal. Nowhere does the OP even states that he/she misses the idea of being intimate with someone.

"Certain needs"? People need water. We need oxygen. We need sleep. There is not a single guy on the planet who "needs" to touch a girl's ass.

uhh 62 OP clearly is missing intimacy. saying that he hasn't touched an ass in a year pretty much refers to not being in a relationship for a year and he misses that.

and 62, where exactly does it say "a girl's ass touched my shoulder AND I GOT SUPER DUPER EXCITED! YAY 4 BUTTZZZ!"? to me, this FML is about missing the touch of a woman. that is a form of intimacy. being sexual with someone, even if it's considered "just *******" is still intimacy of a sort. he obviously misses sex and that's a perfectly okay thing to be all fml about. the touch of another person can be really powerful, whether one gets around or saves it for special people. there's a reason we do it, and it's not just pure instinct.

cant7see7me7 3

69 and there is also no need to be a bitch.

CaptainPat 0

wtf is this shit? not even an fml