Miscellaneous: Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my...

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 358

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Same thing different taste

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 789

You deserved it 81 425

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 573

You deserved it 5 224

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 348

You deserved it 263

By Jakesssss - 10/04/2015 01:02 - United States - Hudson

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 267

You deserved it 10 816

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 608

By oops - 22/08/2014 14:35 - Australia - Wembley

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 531

You deserved it 50 712

Self defence

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 22:00

Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 874

You deserved it 360

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 593

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 583

You deserved it 27 164

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 7 627

Sinamoi 18

Friday 25 May 2012 12:02

Something tells me that you aren't the chosen one...

Pentium_4 27

Friday 25 May 2012 12:08

don't mind me as i use my special technique to click the YDI button

Comments

mrlopez 13

Friday 25 May 2012 17:24

Damn, would've been fun if there was a punch line that accompanied this.

hecallsmedarlin 7

Friday 25 May 2012 19:09

Cool story, bro.

HerrBawl 4

Friday 25 May 2012 17:31

She didn't see you. She is a master of Sinanju and heard the tendons creak as you mimed the punch. She may have also sensed your douchebaggery.

Emerald_86 0

Friday 25 May 2012 17:40

You have much to learn grasshopper..

caplox 6

Friday 25 May 2012 17:45

Why wouldn't you do it behind one of your friends instead?

BlackBelt4Me 7

Friday 25 May 2012 17:50

You're lucky all she did was kick you in the stomach, OP! What did you expect her to do, just stand there and let you randomly swing at her?

caplox 6

Friday 25 May 2012 17:53

OP expected that she wouldn't see him.

septemberpeaches 8

Friday 25 May 2012 18:00

I would have kicked your ass too!!

Dracoboxer357 35

Friday 25 May 2012 18:19

^ Sorry, off topic, but I love your sleeve work. :) My wife and I both want to get a sleeve done in the fall. If I may ask, how long did it take in total for both arms?

septemberpeaches 8

Saturday 26 May 2012 12:48

Aww thank you! :) it's just work done over time...

br0ccoli 14

Friday 25 May 2012 18:25

Hey, ninjas are people too. Did you see that? No? Check your wallet.

myndmelt 4

Friday 25 May 2012 18:32

Your supposed to block.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Friday 25 May 2012 18:39

Opps, that was me OP, sorry about that. Ok probably not since OP is in Australia and I'm in Canada, but I had some moron pull the same sort of stunt and reacted as most people would expect- I felt I was being attacked and attacked back. I competed in gymnastics, then learned karate and judo... So you can guess who came out the looser. :p Seriously feigning a blow at a friend... Still kinda dumb but least they know to expect it. Do that to a stranger? Most people are going to kick back