Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Get better jokes
Today, my classmate overheard me on the phone making an appointment at the women’s health center. The dumb bitch told everyone I was going to the clinic for STD treatment. I was scheduling my biopsy for a lump in my breast. FML
This isn't relevant to my interests
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Another non-emergency
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML
How's it going?
Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Top comments
firstworldissues 0
Oh, who cares. It's just a doctors appointment. That's like getting embarrassed because someone saw a tampon in your purse. Whoops, you're female!
Rollercoaster_fml 0
"By the way, now the whole Internet knows you have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11." -Drk Too true.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
novair 5
ehh
novair 5
ehh
Mandy0811 0
it's when your sexually active or 21...
Aeiou202 0
Atleast the Internet doesn't know who she is though.
usnwife 18
in uk (and other places as well) "maths" is perfectly acceptable. nice try though
B47m4n 0
march 11th is my birthday :)
Bella_is_my_name 4
well atleast all the boys now no you don't have a dirty ****** (;
HairyPunisher 27
*know
Lolbunnycloud 5
Your Mom
Captain0bv10us 0
And now we all know too ;)
acemeanman 0
u just played her