Today, I was babysitting my 4 year-old niece, who rudely but cutely asked me why my nose is so big. Trying to make light of it, I told her, "It's because I lie a lot, just like Pinocchio." Now she won’t stop asking who I lied to and told my sister and her husband that I’m a "bad guy." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, and for the last year, I have a disfiguring scar on my nose that I’m very self conscious about. My 4 year-old niece recently noticed it. Now every time she sees me she leans in real close and says, “What’s wrong with your face?” FML
Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
Today, I made my niece cry when I told her that snakes are just tails with faces. She won't stop. FML
Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
You kind of walked into that one.
Yudith 28
Good! Now you can tell her exactly what you think about her since you "lie a lot, just like Pinocchio", and your sister won't ask you to babysit anymore since you're a "bad guy". Hello peace and quiet!
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Comments (4)
poopface82 25
You kind of walked into that one.
JackWood 21
When a child compliments you, just thank them.
Yudith 28
Good! Now you can tell her exactly what you think about her since you "lie a lot, just like Pinocchio", and your sister won't ask you to babysit anymore since you're a "bad guy". Hello peace and quiet!
Wadlaen 24
Some times good answers might end up biting you in the ass...
Rake 18
Good answer will be along the lines: All people are different, they come in different looks and colors. That what makes our world beautiful and interesting.