Love: Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 102

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 40

05/03/2015 17:36

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 2 805

Dysfunctional

You tried

I blame the parents

Imagine if we had a social safety net…

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 19:56

Today, I was called selfish for complaining about COVID lockdowns. Thanks to lockdowns, my family's restaurant has been permanently closed, I've burned through all my savings, and we are going to lose our house. I guess being upset about my family's plight is selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 144

03/10/2009 12:20

Spicy

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 767

You deserved it 4 165

My Humps

By nix1993 - 19/10/2019 21:00

Today, I visited my old job to pick up some paperwork. Since leaving over a year ago, I’ve lost over 60lbs, but I’m currently 6 months pregnant. Not a single person believed that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 221

01/09/2009 15:09

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 554

You deserved it 69 440

27/08/2013 18:39

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 876

You deserved it 5 181

20/12/2009 19:42

Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 881

You deserved it 2 865

04/07/2014 21:30

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 863

You deserved it 3 776

10/08/2015 12:23

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 1 847

18/02/2010 00:24

Spicy

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 912

You deserved it 9 896

13/01/2009 16:43

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 026

You deserved it 2 705

09/05/2013 05:30

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 333

You deserved it 4 280

01/10/2015 12:16

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 327

You deserved it 6 663

06/08/2013 21:55

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 210

You deserved it 4 847

15/10/2013 21:43

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 680

You deserved it 5 155

28/01/2009 17:25

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 416

You deserved it 2 261

04/02/2009 17:04

Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 885

You deserved it 4 752

25/09/2010 01:47

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 3 689

30/09/2009 15:39

Today, I was babysitting my boss' kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 378

You deserved it 41 905

29/08/2019 20:00

Today, my coworker had been distraught over not being able to keep his dog after his divorce, so trying to be sweet, I'd ordered a specially-made stuffy that looked like it. I put it on his desk with a note and cookies. He thought I was mocking him and threw the plate at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 296

11/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into a restaurant with my family. I slipped off my chair, pulling the tablecloth with all the food and drinks on it with me onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 401

12/10/2009 05:36

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 968

You deserved it 55 604

14/02/2013 07:59

Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 8 829

12/03/2012 16:45

Today, I still have the bronchitis and the stomach flu that I suffered through all weekend. Today was to be the day I had my bachelorette party and wedding shower. I had to call both of them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 2 345

20/02/2016 17:56

Today, while taking a bus full of loud, rambunctious elementary children to school, the bus slowly slid off the road into a ditch. After waiting 30 minutes that felt like hours, I saw the tow truck arriving from the opposite direction also slide slowly off the roadway into the opposite ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 402

You deserved it 1 453

07/05/2013 07:45

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 076

You deserved it 8 059

19/09/2017 11:00

Today, I found out that most of my family has the same fetish as I do. I don't know whether to be revolted or relieved that I'm not the only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 445

You deserved it 558

Because reasons

By Off_Road - 04/06/2014 19:30

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 448

You deserved it 3 995

Stay out of my life

By Anonymous - 16/06/2021 00:01

Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 166

09/09/2015 19:55

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 309

You deserved it 2 925

Serious times

By GreatBlakWarior - 07/09/2020 08:03

Today, after several unsuccessful job interviews, I'm starting to feel emotionally down as both my mum and myself are out of work due to Covid. I even applied as a call centre agent with a friend that offered training. He got accepted and I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 139

You deserved it 218

26/11/2009 16:23

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 920

You deserved it 30 011

Go Team!

By Gayer men’s team - 02/11/2017 04:00

Today, I was sexting my girlfriend when I accidentally sent one to my swim team’s group chat. This means that 19 men got a picture of me flexing with everything on display. Worst part? I got more compliments from them than I ever got from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 728

You deserved it 1 326

28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year old son pointed to a lady and exclaimed “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 340

29/12/2012 01:23

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 964

You deserved it 4 401

22/12/2012 06:31

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 11 296

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 4 268

01/10/2010 11:07

Spicy

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 599

You deserved it 4 838

13/04/2016 23:46

Today, I'd like to thank the genius who scheduled my class in a building which is actively being torn down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 553

You deserved it 1 219

Ouch

By HelloDrMeAgain - 24/12/2016 14:45

Today, my girlfriend's "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting and cold-sweating while pissing acidic blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 897

You deserved it 606

19/11/2016 19:52

Today, I understand the finer points of the government in Star Wars better than I understand the U.S. government. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 957

You deserved it 2 573

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Top comments

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:53

Was it by the same person?..

Mafia_ 16

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:52

Great way to end the day

Comments

Mafia_ 16

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:52

Great way to end the day

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:53

Was it by the same person?..

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Friday 6 March 2015 3:09

Since it's in the love section, I'm assuming OP's SO said both. With that said, OP should tell their SO "maybe somebody would love you if you weren't a fucking asshole."

Brandi_Faith 33

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Friday 6 March 2015 4:45

I'm really hoping it wasn't by the same person and definitely not her SO. Op, if your boyfriend/husband is the one saying that then I would have a good talk with him as it sounds like he just said that to hurt your feelings (as he obviously doesn't think you're ugly from the previous comment). It's one thing to have an argument or fight with your significant other, it's a totally different thing when they're saying things during those fights that are intentionally hurtful. If your SO intentionally try's to hurt you during your arguments then that needs to be addressed, the same way it would need to be addressed if you intentionally try and hurt him. Sit down and have a talk with your SO and explain that if you love each other, you shouldn't try and hurt each other during a disagreement and that both of you may need to work on that. Best of luck op!

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Friday 6 March 2015 7:32

Actually I agree with 47. Don't call your SO an asshole because it will just make it worse. Solve it before it's too late.

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:53

Whoever that is sounds lovely.

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:53

That's when you smash that mirror into a thousand pieces.

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:53

well that's rude, if it was the same guy who said these things i hope you gave him a nice girl power bitch slap !

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Friday 6 March 2015 1:25

what if it was a girl though?

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Friday 6 March 2015 7:54

What does girl power have to do with this? Girls can do the same thing to a guy, we care about our appearances, we aren't brutes.

JazzHandsFML 28

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Friday 6 March 2015 16:01

so start a fight over a shruggable insult? love the advice if a girl ever calls me a name guess a can slap her in the face unless you are one of those double standards people who thinks hitting guys is the solution to everything.

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:54

Ouch.

kitkatjoy_96 28

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Friday 6 March 2015 3:47

lol why are the most simple comments always thumbs down??

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Friday 6 March 2015 3:53

Because they're almost always unnecessary.

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Friday 6 March 2015 5:16

Welcome to FML; if your comment is not grammatically correct, plain and simple, not witty, ignorant or seemingly stupid, it's thumbed down and deemed not necessary. Enjoy your stay.

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Friday 6 March 2015 6:13

There was nothing more to say that wasn't wittily cruel or saccharinely sympathetic. It sucked that it happened to the OP and that was that.

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Friday 6 March 2015 6:50

#55 I know right.. it's like people are afraid of getting thumbs down so they go with 'Oh sweet OP, sorry' 'Oh my God, you mean ex right?!' 'don't worry OP, the world is made of fields of rose and lilies, this or that will be fine' c'mon fml. But OP, you've got skills tho.. from 100-0 in one day.

ProfessorMctitie 20

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:56

Impressive, you went from beauitful to ugly in one day

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Friday 6 March 2015 1:42

Yes, usually that happens overnight

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:57

Ignore the second statement. Some people are just awful and need to upset others to feel good about themselves. You are beautiful either way :)

ColonelCusswords 24

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:58

At least you broke even?...

pinque 19

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Thursday 5 March 2015 23:58

People are so rude