Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.
stormchaser24 24
Ouch, FYL. Hope you feel better soon.
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Comments (149)
King_paradox 22
Good fight Horse +1
ThatOneDrummer 8
Go home, 35. You're drunk.
NurseJonathan 9
If you two don't get it, it's a quote from the movie Arthur. Had funny moments, but could've been better.
crazytwinsmom 25
Bareback is better, unless the horse doesn't have a very flat back or has high withers.
simoncat 11
Ice! Lots and lots of ice!
Slavgaard 16
If it was a female...bye-bye virginity...if a guy...virginity for life.
ShyAnn29 15
If OP is female, and her hymen broke, that doesn't mean she lost her virginity.
Gnieves28 4
Same thing happened to me once. It'll take about one week to recover enough to ride again. Good luck, OP!
firefighter925 18
Is that what she said noor? IS IT?!!?!?!
capricornsssss 15
I can kind of understand your pain as i used to ride horses myself but I never hurt myself as bad as you have
SpLo0gIeR 9
How does one go about getting a "new" horse
monkurt 5
A recently purchased horse? Or a horse they haven't really ridden before?
lonewolf621 17
Ouch! Try the English saddle next time
ShyAnn29 15
English saddles aren't always safer, I was riding one with my English saddle and when my horse bucked, I flew off doing a flip over her head. So I prefer riding Western.