Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.
stormchaser24 24
Ouch, FYL. Hope you feel better soon.
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Comments (149)
PonyTails13 3
one of my friends had a horse spook on her and her belly button ring got caught on the horn... no more body jewlery for her.
Adolfospxc 3
Gees I will pray for you this friday.
stewpididiot 11
Taint funny, McGee...
patrickalamo 48
This is one of the many reasons I would rather own a T-Rex before a horse
shadowdragon1 1
That sucks ouch feel the pain
FlashOfHope 10
I think us riders always face this issue at least once. Never fun. Hope you are back in the saddle soon.
potatosalad96 3
Perks of riding in an English saddle haha Hope you feel better!
Miamia2000 0
I ride English, therefor I do not have this problem. But when I was first learning to jump, I accidentially slammed my head into a horses neck. I don't do that anymore…
taylorseeey 6
Least your good to be ****** by someone with a big dick :)
Lucky7Samson 10
If you're a dude I feel your pain. If you're a chick, good thing your genitalia is on the inside of your body.