Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.
stormchaser24 24
Ouch, FYL. Hope you feel better soon.
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Comments (149)
shaar_fml 33
Ouch! Sorry OP, that's extremely unfortunate :(
aburch427 5
Ride English :). No horn. Just saying
rocketiquette 20
Or tucker. I have one, it's a cross of western and English. Padding of western, stirrups of English, and an open handle bar where a horn would be. It's fabulous.
lonewolf621 17
I agree with noor :)
RedPillSucks 33
OP, you should have a better story to explain your injury. Something other than "I lost my virginity to a horse and can't walk straight for a week".
oh_the_karma 12
Well as a fellow horse back rider who has been in this same situation! I feel your pain OP and it is definitely an FML when this happens! Only time heals! Haha
kittiemarie 8
sounds like you're feeling a bit... ... ... HORNY XD
RedPillSucks 33
*lowers glasses *YYYYEAAAHHHH You're welcome. BTW I like your hanes kitten soft shirt.
Mayshod 3
Can't walk or feel anything between the legs? Sound like the week after my honeymoon. Get well soon.
lillypatter 13
Ouch... I cringed just reading that. Feel better soon, op!
Kitten_Calderon 14
I'm surprised nobody has made a joke about op no longer being a virgin.. Cartoons are to blame for that. I hope you get better though op.. I know your pain. Once hit my crotch sliding off a swing ride
starcrossddream 14
This is why you grip with the thighs!!! Your sitting on a horse, not your couch. Squeezing through the thighs is not just for posting through a rough trot, it is also so when they spook and jump you don't lose your seat.
jem970 19
Also keeping the heels down and weight centered helps. Also your calves save you.
FlashOfHope 10
It would appear you haven't dealt with the Arab teleport trick...if you had, you would understand that there are spooks that gripping with thighs and heels down...just don't work. For those who don't know what the Arab teleport trick is, it's something arabians are well known for. They spook, and just disappear out from under you. You hang in the air a sec still in riding position, fall, look around, and say "Where is that damn horse?" No one gives spook advice outside of getting back up and pretending it didn't happen after that. Not even my old trainer. He won't get on another Arab. My boy teaches a lot. :)