Health: Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid...

By wish his dad had worn one - 07/06/2014 21:16 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 646

You deserved it 5 334

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Same thing different taste

By -_- - 07/10/2015 11:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 969

You deserved it 32 440

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 560

You deserved it 12 422

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 808

You deserved it 5 032

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 873

You deserved it 4 371

By mild banana - 16/06/2016 16:55 - United States - Cedar Hill

Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 959

You deserved it 1 223

By Agax - 08/10/2013 00:21 - United States - Riverside

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 630

You deserved it 4 052

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 311

Vicious and unprovoked

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 05:01

Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 190

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 269

You deserved it 3 557

mccrightp 29

Sunday 8 June 2014 1:20

What is it with trashy parents not disciplining their kids?

KittyLahv 27

Sunday 8 June 2014 1:21

What a little asshole. Maybe a stray soccer ball will hit him between the legs...

Comments

nurafifah 13

Sunday 8 June 2014 3:22

Hahah, you are so dramatic OP but hope you feel better now (:

JacobHelms 4

Sunday 8 June 2014 3:33

Shoulda Nailed him right back, little ******..

katymay98 6

Sunday 8 June 2014 3:47

Should've worn a cup!

OhNoAGhost 18

Sunday 8 June 2014 3:56

The apple obviously doesn't fall far from the tree...

austin_hall29 9

Sunday 8 June 2014 4:20

That's what you get for being a foot fairy

katina1236 20

Sunday 8 June 2014 4:28

Does it make me a bad person for giggling at this. I'm sorry op I feel for you.

llamaslikesoda 21

Sunday 8 June 2014 23:54

Don't feel bad, it's FML. You're supposed to laugh ;)

zachary998 4

Sunday 8 June 2014 4:35

In baseball they use a bat

austin_hall29 9

Sunday 8 June 2014 4:37

That's what happens when you're a foot fairy, they all touch balls and laugh.

metheonlyb 17

Sunday 8 June 2014 4:54

OP, the way you put it, millions of your unborn children, made my day! ROFL. :D

JKPwnage 27

Sunday 8 June 2014 4:58

OWW. This is why some people shouldn't have kids. Not their victims.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 375

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

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The Top

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 232

You deserved it 3 835

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 068

You deserved it 6 422

Today, it's been 3 months since I've been talking to a guy. He told me that he doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship. He likes me and would still like to have sex, but not ready right now for something serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 292

Today, we found out my brother in law cheated on my sister. Somehow they’ve blamed me for the whole incident. I don’t know the guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 137

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 968

You deserved it 1 728

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 095

You deserved it 5 642

Same thing different taste

Vicious and unprovoked

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