By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 466
You deserved it 2 311

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.

TheDrifter 23

Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.


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axelrave 3

This is exactly why I hate bikers..

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Damn straight 18. I don't generalize, but every single one of 'em I've met? *****.

blcksocks 19

#1: slipping hundred million of your potential children through your hands everyday isn't the same as this situation.

Take heart, OP: almost none of those sperm were likely to become real children, even if you had managed to inseminate the first fifty women you encountered that day.

I swear some of these bikers ride as if there's a ******* stick up their ass, riding all over the road. Theres a space on the other side of the white line, you're a hazard if you're dicking around in the lane. And no, I'm not generalizing all the bikers, some are good and some make me want to lodge my passanger door up their asses when going by.

55 - I am convinced you're the guy who almost ran me over, judging by your additude towards cyclists. Just to let you know, I had the turn signal.

Possibly, although it'd be hard to tell from just picking out all the hair and misc body parts plastered to my front end.

55, in their defense they do have a seat stuck up their ass all the time.

91 - that's not how twins work. The egg splits after fertilization.

Is it just me that imagined 49's comment in Samuel L Jackson's voice? And inseminate? What an awesome word!!!

axelrave 3

29- I'm glad some one else can speak up against these monstrosities!

Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.

It'd be pretty ballsy for the cyclist to do so

nickownes1 3

He's referring to the fml that someone posted I think yesterday or the day before of the guy who got slapped by a cyclist that ended up crashing and threatening to sue him.

JackeeDawn 9

I hope his half babies rest in peace.

Inheritance 10

Only one fertilizes an egg unless you get lucky and get like twins or triplets, etc. So you honestly don't need all 1,000,000+ to make potential children; considering you'll have more mature sperm cells in 60 days time. Unless within this accident you ended up blowing your nuts, then well, yeah..

perdix 29

The cyclist was just looking for a bike rack -- and he found one!

ant1ion 12

66- only 1 sperm fertilizes the egg always

Inheritance 10

I know one does, I'm saying more than one egg can be fertilized by a single sperm cell like; 1-1 1-1 1-1 get what I'm saying? As in special cases with twins.

I've read that it takes around 1000 to break through the "egg" wall. The sperm have enzymes in their head but not enough to break through alone. Basically around 999 help one guy to get through. Poor OP, but don't worry, you'll make sperm until you die.

I'm wondering what's the "business end" of a bike? But that does suck OP. my nuts have never been hit but it sounds painful from what everyone tells me. Feel better soon! And I hope you can still have kids. Maybe I should wear my jockstrap and cup everywhere?

Ahh, sometimes it's good to be handicapped. The empty weight of my powerchair is over 300 pounds, so if a bike hit me, I ain't movin, HE is! (drives away laughing)

TheDrifter 23

Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.

Ouch. its appauling how inconsiderate people can be. hope you feel better op!

olpally 32

How?? Op didn't know that was going to happen. Read the FML again.

Sounds like he deserved to have a few million of his future offspring killed.

A hundred million potential children...? Pretty potentially ambitious.