Health: Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid...

By wish his dad had worn one - 07/06/2014 21:16 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 646

You deserved it 5 334

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By -_- - 07/10/2015 11:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 969

You deserved it 32 440

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 560

You deserved it 12 422

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 808

You deserved it 5 032

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 873

You deserved it 4 371

By mild banana - 16/06/2016 16:55 - United States - Cedar Hill

Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 959

You deserved it 1 223

By Agax - 08/10/2013 00:21 - United States - Riverside

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 630

You deserved it 4 052

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 311

Vicious and unprovoked

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 05:01

Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 190

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 269

You deserved it 3 557

mccrightp 29

Sunday 8 June 2014 1:20

What is it with trashy parents not disciplining their kids?

KittyLahv 27

Sunday 8 June 2014 1:21

What a little asshole. Maybe a stray soccer ball will hit him between the legs...

Comments

daisyflame 8

Sunday 8 June 2014 16:01

Instead of nervously laughing the parent should of apologized on behalf of her kid...although some may think no biggie..you'll heal...hitting guys in the "testies"can actually cause cancer...so I don't think it's really funny or that OP deserved this....regardless of his choice of descriptive wording ;-)

EvilLittleMan 23

Sunday 8 June 2014 17:52

A simpler and much more civilized response would be to yell. Grass Plant and slam the little ******'s face into the grass.

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 8 June 2014 18:19

I guess smacking him upside the head while yelling "brain check!!!" Is out of the question?

llamaslikesoda 21

Tuesday 10 June 2014 6:58

Honestly lmao

Stuffaluffagus 25

Sunday 8 June 2014 18:24

I would have punched the little asshole in the head

savannabrooks17 12

Sunday 8 June 2014 18:36

I'm sure when he's grown up then some rotten kid will do the same...

duckie227 22

Sunday 8 June 2014 19:53

You weren't wearing a cup, therefore you deserved it, OP!

llamaslikesoda 21

Tuesday 10 June 2014 7:00

Soccer players don't wear cups, the kid was a twat for doing that in the first place, so how the **** was that his fault..?

echosong 16

Monday 9 June 2014 1:47

Hey, you really should be wearing a cup.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 9 June 2014 4:46

I'm sorry, why does it matter that the mother was fat? Would this have been a forgivable offense if she'd been skinny? But back to the issue at hand - why weren't you wearing a cup if you were playing any sport? But more importantly, what is wrong with parents these days? They don't discipline their kids, let them get away with absolutely everything, and wonder why they grow up to be criminals and the like. Ugh!