Health: Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid...

By wish his dad had worn one - 07/06/2014 21:16 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 646

You deserved it 5 334

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Same thing different taste

By -_- - 07/10/2015 11:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 969

You deserved it 32 440

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 560

You deserved it 12 422

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 808

You deserved it 5 032

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 873

You deserved it 4 371

By mild banana - 16/06/2016 16:55 - United States - Cedar Hill

Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 959

You deserved it 1 223

By Agax - 08/10/2013 00:21 - United States - Riverside

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 630

You deserved it 4 052

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 23:08 - United States - Saddle Brook

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 311

Vicious and unprovoked

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 05:01

Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 190

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 269

You deserved it 3 557

mccrightp 29

Sunday 8 June 2014 1:20

What is it with trashy parents not disciplining their kids?

KittyLahv 27

Sunday 8 June 2014 1:21

What a little asshole. Maybe a stray soccer ball will hit him between the legs...

Comments

DylanHasClass 17

Sunday 8 June 2014 5:01

Bad parenting, thats disrespectful

assassin01 1

Sunday 8 June 2014 5:11

Duckie makes a point kinda had it coming if u dont got a cup. Just keepin it real ppl

fivetimeslonger 24

Sunday 8 June 2014 5:13

I love how well this is written. Kudos to you.

UlondaRoshelle 3

Sunday 8 June 2014 5:15

LOL I just died!

lifesneutral2002 6

Sunday 8 June 2014 5:21

shoulda punched her in the boobs

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Sunday 8 June 2014 6:08

You should've asked her what did five fingers say to the face?

aedar 16

Sunday 8 June 2014 6:40

It's. Called. FOOTBALL!

CrystaltheFail 2

Sunday 8 June 2014 9:39

Well in in America it's called Soccer.

ibanghellokitty 8

Sunday 8 June 2014 6:41

.-. I'm sorry to hear..

morghandi 21

Sunday 8 June 2014 6:52

I put you deserve it because you're the type of person who had to describe someone by their appearance instead of their behavior. (Fatass mom instead of incompetent parent) Not necessary.

AngryRussianGuy 13

Sunday 8 June 2014 7:16

No one deserves a nut shot.

morghandi 21

Sunday 8 June 2014 8:25

No one? o.O I can't think of several instances where it would be appropriate. But you're right... in this instance, it probably wasn't "deserved", per se.

pkts11 16

Sunday 8 June 2014 7:15

But guys sperm dies and remakes new ones every few days or something so depending in your age a lot if them are going to be unborn

herpderp1234 17

Thursday 3 September 2015 19:16

If a man's testes (balls) are damaged enough, he may not be able to produce any more sperm, thus not being able to have any children. In this situation, OP should be able to sue for assault and manslaughter.