Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP
friedchickenpie 14
I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.
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Comments (385)
Zomg_Okay 27
204 - If ever there was a game worth paying for, it's Skyrim.
Muffin_boo 12
The quote is from the game skyrim lol. If you've played it then you know it. Good job OP. way to get your ass kicked skyrim style xD
KiddNYC1O 22
Some Skyrim scenes remind me of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys... Pretty cool.
ZDK5498 6
well if you are not prepared to fight than don't crack jokes that could be insulting to someone that is willing to!
Schiffy 18
What have we learned today? Don't quote Skyrim in front of an angry drunken man.
austinha11 0
You moron. You're just like all those other robots who talk everyone else. Keep internet lingo on the Internet.
Levvy 22
"You're just like all those other robots who talk everyone else." I think your programmer needs to adjust your language subroutines. I can only sort of guess at what you meant by that word salad.
icygiraffe 0
Does antbody even know ehat tha means?
Samigirl11 0
Omfg that's ******* great haha
hateevryone 15
an arrow in the knee? what the hell does that mean?
Levvy 22
"I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." is a recycled line spoken by random guards in the very popular new console/PC RPG "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim". I think it sort of stuck in mass consciousness due to how often you could hear that same line from different guards all throughout the game. The sheer improbability of it is pretty amusing.
Aishopa 6
skyriiiiiiiiimmmmm <3