Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP
friedchickenpie 14
I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.
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Comments (385)
danielwerder 3
gotta say who uses that in real life, it tends to be on the internet that its better used and the quotes a peice of shit
lolitaroze 8
D---> I used to serve the Highb100d, then I took an arrow to the knee.
Ecklcakes 15
After he hit you I bet the drunk guy said, "What's wrong? Someone steal your sweetroll?"
xoxPatrina 8
Why would you mouth off to a drunk guy whose already trying to kick everyones ass? Obviously you were destined to get your ass kicked.
SpruceDread4578 13
Downloading Skyrim as a torrent right now! Should be fun!
gordongekko_fml 1
I think you left out the part describing the humor you used
dannemp 7
Arrow jokes don't bring any good
brianod 0
never.do.that.in.public
ryanf395 1
I hear "let me guess, someone stole ur sweetroll" more often than the arrow one and i get cut, mainly because, no my sweetroll wasnt stolen but i was being chased by half a dozen bandits, a dragon and a dragon priest in the middle of the wilderness. Oh and i 4got to mention my horse was dead
heart_aussie_fml 20
Hahaha awesome reference OP ! Skyrim rules :)