Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
null_fml 11
I'm guessing you've never had dogs of your own. I would have recognized the sound instantly and at least tried to check. If you have never owned a dog, then it is your boyfriend's fault - he should have recognized it. So FYL.
allmidnighteyes 11
Did you add to the pile?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (42)
iFruit 0
YTDI who sleeps with their pet?
MilitantDucky 0
Um, #29, any veterinarian will tell you it's not a good idea to bathe your dog EVERYDAY as you stated. In fact, most will tell you every 2-3 weeks is sufficient (unless they roll in mud or something similar); any more frequently than that and you dry out their skin, causing it to get itchy and irritated. Other than that, I agree with your post. I have two dogs who sleep in my bed; I brush them regularly so they don't really shed, and if their stomach is upset and they start making that tell tale sound that indicates a stomach exodus, I jump up and lead them to the tile floor (3rd floor of an apt, no hope of getting them outside) where I shove a paper towel under them and let them puke.
purple91 8
get a new boyfriend already
Brinty 4
wow, this is my FML and I didn't even know it got published :/ The dog was fine, my boyfriend is just one of those owners who loves too much...... and fed the dog hot chips -_-
secretlifelvr15 0
EWWWW
biggiesmalls15 0
ha ha that's nasty.
NekoHakase 0
Make the boyfriend clean it up! Geez that's sick, letting the dog in bed.
RavingRavyn 4
Oh god thats disgusting :x I would definetly of ralffed in that situation
Perfectg 9
Ewww :(