Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML
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Top comments
Ninjaface 0
Wow, your boyfriend found a keeper. You're easy, but provide the illusion of his having accomplished something by getting in his pants! In other words, he had your pussy and ate it too.
JassyJas 2
so do i... oh OP youre bf is FUNNY more of a fhl because his gf doesnt think so
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Comments (101)
Gomez_Vidal 0
There's a million types of these FMLs, I seriously doubt this is real.
SexyQueen0905 24
I know that's awkward but since I totally love Queen with like all of my life, YDI
SexyQueen0905 24
I wouldn't mind, I love Queen. Just read my profile.
DerekDean17 1
ROFL. Don't let that one go!
Lukaroast 0
that's what happens when you make it a challenge. what did you expect?
may651 14
Oh come on that is great.
ShinyStar_fml 0
put a mousetrap down there for next time
MonGuillaume 2
What happened to 'no means no'?
XiaoWu 4
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's actually more concerned that he clearly doesn't respect you and your boundaries. If he wanted to have sex without caring about the other person's feelings, he should have a blow up doll, not a girlfriend.
Troghen 4
Holy crap! Just as I finished reading this We Are the Champions started playing on my ipod!
worldclassrager 41
Will he sing another one bites the dust during sex?