By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 320
You deserved it 34 484
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

raysmith121 10

This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.

913 9
MDoremis 38

You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.

619 8

Comments

trollcrusher 17

Now we're going to see an FML from your boyfriend at some point down the road, when someone who's actually honest tells him he doesn't know what the heck he's doing.

56 0
Skoff_fml 27

aye. If you pretend to like something you will be stuck with it repeating. Just tell the guy you don't like it and tell them something else to try instead.

26 0
raysmith121 10

This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.

913 9
logicnazi 18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
8 57
lovelockdown23 23

Lol sucks because he's going to meet more women who fake their orgasms so he will never know just how horrible he is......or he will meet someone who straight up tells him he sucks and then his ego will be shot.

51 2
AninOnin 24

That's the dilemma for most girls though. Instruct him how to be a better lover (implying they weren't good enough to begin with) and risk his ego, or skip it and pretend to be satisfied to make him happy.

41 4
MandieL 27

If he is mature enough to be having sex, then in theory, he should be mature enough to allow for some sexy teachings. Especially knowing that he is inexperienced.

71 0
Jowisee 29

A mature person would love to be taught, it's a great feeling knowing exactly what your partner likes.

35 0
iiTzNeeNerz 26

Are you going to tell him or should we?

279 3
soulcrusher11 16

the fact that the stupid movie frozen was brought up here makes me feel like this app is goin downhill

51 14
reeper147 14

This is obviously your fault. If it was his first time, and he was so bad, then why weren't you teaching him? You should be showing him what to do and how to do them. Faking orgasms helps absolutely no one.

286 2
devinaww 15

at least it helped stop the bitch slapping maybe OP was panicking lol

12 3
MDoremis 38

You know what else would have worked? "Ow, stop, that hurts." Or even: "That's really uncomfortable for me."

23 0
MDoremis 38

You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.

619 8
jenjen2633 17

Ouch! Why did you endure that for 20 or 30 seconds? I would've made him stop after 2.

111 0
reeper147 14

Well wouldn't you stop him then tell him what he was doing wrong? I'd include her like him/her, but I doubt many women woudld make this mistake

6 43
Dusty_Cups 30

As a woman myself, I can't emphasize enough that you shouldn't fake it. Tell him what you want him to do and what you need to be satisfied. Otherwise you'll forever be disappointed with your partner/future partners. Besides, faking is kinda like lying to him and that's just not fair to either of you.

166 1
whythankyou 19

So you faked an ****** and now you're upset that he believed you?

182 1
amadeclton 27

YDI for faking an ****** instead of asking him to stop.

102 1
Redoxx_fml 22

30 seconds to fake ******? He is a Sex God

95 1