Miscellaneous: Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed....

By Anonymous - 14/12/2012 23:12 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 878

You deserved it 2 651

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 309

You deserved it 5 747

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 32 610

By stuck - 07/11/2012 15:00 - United States - California

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 285

You deserved it 23 985

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 196

You deserved it 43 448

The key to happiness

By Luke - 25/07/2010 22:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 892

You deserved it 4 093

By Smile - 27/11/2008 04:21 - France

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 473

You deserved it 31 424

By Ugh - 02/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 198

You deserved it 4 380

Stranded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 3 668

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 15:05

Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 539

You deserved it 10 618

By joser6969 - 29/10/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 959

You deserved it 11 952

DocBastard 38

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:36

You're paying him to unlock the door, not to be quiet. That's extra.

Sinamoi 18

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:40

You should've seen the Italian plumber who came to my house. He had a huge nose and wore this weird red hat, and CONSTANTLY talked about "saving the princess". Such a strange fellow.

Comments

fastnfurious 7

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:34

I hate when that happens. Sorry :(

Misswildsides 22

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:45

I had this happen to me with my car. I was out shopping and I tried to unlock the door with the key, and it snapped right off. I was lucky though, a passerby was a mechanic and new how to fix it and got my broken key out.

SlenderMann 10

Sunday 16 December 2012 7:43

I had to have a blacksmith take out my entire doorknob once because my key snapped and we couldn't get the other half out. Lets just say we ended up breaking more than just the doorknob... But sorry OP that sucks. My sympathy for you.

That_Indian_Dude 5

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:35

Were the jokes funny?

eeppiicc 8

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:38

If they were, she should tip him.

Migole 36

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:36

You could not pay him and then laugh at his misfortune?

wickedninja918 1

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:43

and then he would sue her and laugh at her misfortune

Migole 36

Saturday 15 December 2012 3:23

Chill dude, that was clearly a joke... But apparantly that guy didn't know how to do his job since being friendly and respectful towards the customer is just as important as knowing how to fix the lock in my opinion. Locksmiths are really expensive so the least he could've done was to shut his mouth...

CaptTeemo 10

Saturday 15 December 2012 4:24

Refer to Doc's comment below. But you're right, it is rude of the locksmith because he started cracking sarcastic jokes when OP obviously wasn't in the mood. Doesn't mean he didn't do his job though.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:36

You're paying him to unlock the door, not to be quiet. That's extra.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Saturday 15 December 2012 3:04

How much extra do you charge for operations without the sadistic guffawing, Doc?

gc327072 30

Saturday 15 December 2012 3:06

"you got shot, Lulz"

Sputnikspak 13

Saturday 15 December 2012 12:47

No one cares about sadistic guffawing during an operation, they're out cold. They might care that the doctor doesn't leave something inside them that shouldn't be there, but they probably joke about that all of the time. You meant to ask, how much extra do the idiots have to pay to avoid the lecture (and becoming a blog post)?

thiscrazything 1

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:37

Well, at least you finally got in.

Bakarra 22

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:39

Well you're paying him to do the job just tell him it was an accident you'd had a long day and would prefer not to talk about it, it's better than just standing there and taking it...

GothickNihilist 15

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:39

Some people are just total fuckballs. Maybe the fact that you got an FML posted will cheer you up.

OhAidan 7

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:47

Fuckballs... I might use that sometime. However, an FML is the most rewarding thing of all rewards! Congratulations OP! Your door is now unlocked.

Sinamoi 18

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:40

You should've seen the Italian plumber who came to my house. He had a huge nose and wore this weird red hat, and CONSTANTLY talked about "saving the princess". Such a strange fellow.

Welshite 39

Saturday 15 December 2012 2:44

I had the same fellow come by my house too. He kept trying to jump down my pipes, and jumping on my tortoise. I sent him on his way to save some "peach". He must really like fruit.