Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was rushing to get my 4 month-old daughter out of the car because I had diarrhea and need to get to a toilet ASAP. In the process of leaning in the backseat to grab her car seat, I smacked my head on the door hard and almost knocked myself out. Now I have a giant knot on my forehead. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML
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Top comments
Jarvo_666 6
Chaaarrrlieeee...
kaywalovestoflip 7
At least you're awesome enough to be called a unicorn.
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Comments (178)
FriscoKidz 10
You should be happy. Because of the car accident, you now have magic unicorn powers. Try them out.. Kick him in his Johnson and make him piss blood, Opps I mean rainbows ;)
gregm784 4
Poke his wiener and say the same thing
dontsmokecrack 1
Poke his wiener and say the same thing
ikickgingers 15
I want a baby unicorn. Wtf. Share.
Snafuusmc 12
Atleast it grows!
DocBastard 40
Just tell him that if his finger comes close to your head one more time, it'll be the last time your mouth comes close to his.
bubo_fml 11
"Look! A eunuch!" (...As your foot connects to his cods...)
heathz 9
I don't get it. :~
BoredomCentral 8
49- "eunuch" is the sound he will make next time he tries to call her a unicorn.. As her foot connects with him.. EUNUCH. :)
AlaskaKid95 7
The way I read it, it kinda sounds cute
TubaFTW 2
Look! A baby unicorn!
Gothicbunnyx3 16
He's a unicorn too!
ZXDriver 0
Grab him by the crotch "Look! A baby unicorn!"