Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was rushing to get my 4 month-old daughter out of the car because I had diarrhea and need to get to a toilet ASAP. In the process of leaning in the backseat to grab her car seat, I smacked my head on the door hard and almost knocked myself out. Now I have a giant knot on my forehead. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML
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Top comments
Jarvo_666 6
Chaaarrrlieeee...
kaywalovestoflip 7
At least you're awesome enough to be called a unicorn.
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Comments (178)
heathz 9
I knew they existed!!!
Palirose 22
Omg I moderated this one!!! Yeeeee! :D your life sucks but for once my life has a glimmer of excitement.
csmith10100 4
wow what a life u must have
Palirose 22
I was kidding. I was just excited that for once one that I moderated was actually passed through. :P
heathz 9
Lucky. When I moderate FMLs they are always the stupid ones that make no sense. Yeah I have no life either. Haha
Savra_fml 17
Say "lets see if it grows....like when Pinocchio tells a lie! Ready......mmmm, you have a big dick. Look, look, I can feel it growing!!!"
causticgirl 6
Could have been worse...could've been your brains all over the dash. Obviously wasn't a major accident and obviously you weren't wearing a seat belt. Hoping to be thrown clear next time?
SilverInGray 25
It wasn't obviously anything that you said.
crazy_whitechick 6
I hit 3 deer last night. Totaled my car
dontsmokecrack 1
3 in one night? By the second consecutive hit I would of stopped my car, scratched my ass, driven to the DMV and returned my drivers license telling them I'm not worthy
False_Stupidity 42
Bambi killer!
David199619 8
@12 that didnt make sense
GameOver008 1
Does he really need to poke it?
itschrisssybro 8
At least your boyfriend chose a unicorn, he could've said a baby rhino or something rather.
jellitonoctopus 19
Do the same by poking his pee pee.
drivemysoul19 8
Unicorns are pretty bad ass. Why are you complaining?