Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
More haste, less speed
Today, I was rushing to get my 4 month-old daughter out of the car because I had diarrhea and need to get to a toilet ASAP. In the process of leaning in the backseat to grab her car seat, I smacked my head on the door hard and almost knocked myself out. Now I have a giant knot on my forehead. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Mr. Nice Guy
Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML
Major romcom vibes
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Bad luck
Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML
Top comments
Jarvo_666 6
Chaaarrrlieeee...
kaywalovestoflip 7
At least you're awesome enough to be called a unicorn.
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Comments (178)
Wendy_Shoofitz 6
This made me laugh. At least he didn't smack it and say "Boyyyyng!"
blacksswan 10
Boing :/ spell it right at least.
jillianmathers12 13
You are unicorn- Brittany from Glee
pie29302930 0
******* glee sucks ass
alexwarfield333 1
I love glee! I love that episode!
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
No need to be rude 84.
ZebulonPike 8
Glee has a few good episodes... but most of them are complete shit.
Love177 5
Love it!
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
Let's look at it this way, Glee may not be a great show to some but at least it is better than Twilight :)
Llama_Face89 34
84- Sabers are gonna be out in round one of the play offs.
RedPillSucks 33
point to his penis and say the same thing.
iliketurdles 7
Or small. Your perception does sound more helpful tho'.
cgchamp89 7
Not all babies are cute...
FYLDeep 26
Isn't your seatbelt supposed to prevent that from happening?
unhappybitch 8
Not really, it prevents you flying out the window but it doesn't stop your head from moving. That's common sense dude wtf?
FYLDeep 26
The dash isn't exactly very close to my face when I drive. If the seatbelt held my chest back like it's designed to, there's no way I could possibly hit the steering wheel with my head, let alone the dash.
WeirdSauce 7
I agree with FYL. Don't drive with the seat up like the dash is eating you
Katastrophe101 8
I had an accident a few years ago where I had my seatbelt on, and the chest didn't tighten so I cracked my head open on the wheel. It happens sometimes.
FYLDeep 26
I guess that could happen. I'm sure those seatbelts are made by the lowest bidder.
Torva_fml 16
Are we all driving cars that don't have air bags, or WTF?
Okayitwasme 0
Some don't deploy if the collision is not directly in front of the car!
Cynical_in_SK 6
Car safety systems are required to undergo rigorous government regulated testing. It is incredibly unlikely that the seatbelt failed. It is also not possible for a person's head to impact the dash if they are wearing their seatbelt properly. After all...that's the kind of thing they are designed to prevent. Given all of this the most likely scenario is that the OP wasn't wearing her seatbelt...or at least not correctly.
sparkrok 8
or maybe, dumbasses, it was an old car or truck that only had a lap belt... I know its wild and crazy to think there was a time before iPhones and self parking cars, but there was. did you know that really old cars and trucks didn't even have seatbelts? it was the mid sixties I believe that the government started requiring them. and lap belts til the 80's. and... I'll bet there is a high chance it was an old truck considering the screen name is southernpride... use your feeble minds once in a while...
Rico_Mal1116 0
It all depends on what car maker it is because some have more advanced technology and prevent that from happening.
Torva_fml 16
110- wearing your seatbelt is the law, therefore... Cars without seatbelts... Are, intact... Illegal. (in most places) But thank you, for pointing out the obvious! I'm sure we all now know, that this MUST be the ONLY possible scenario!
Cynical_in_SK 6
Actually 110...the only dumbass here is you! Well...you and 25. Lap belts actually started appearing in vehicles in the early 50's with the first "shoulder" belt being introduced in 1959. In fact, although seat belt laws didn't start coming into effect until the 70's and 80's, some governments actually started requiring them to be included in vehicles as early as 1955. My first car was from 1975 and it had shoulder belts. So why don't you STFU about things you actually know nothing about! Moron!
hooligyn123 18
Having had a US vehicle from 1991, Mine didn't have airbags as they weren't standard for every vehicle then. When I got slammed into and said vehicle was reduced to a pile of scrap, my shoulder belt didn't stop me from slamming my face into my steering wheel and busting my glasses in pieces. It did however stop me from flying out the window and becoming a smear on the road. They don't always do as they should. and yes I had tested the belt on several occasions, it just didn't work when I got hit.
WeirdSauce 7
On the bright side... Only a few things are cooler than a unicorn
Savra_fml 17
Tell him that if his erection looked like that, your relationship could go much further.
ProhibitionRose 14
Baby unicorns are
robb627 0
Dumb