By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Spicy
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks 157 261
You deserved it 18 047
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Top comments

LittleMissMack 0

Parents tell embarrassing stories... it happens. I'm sure he's not going to freak out or anything. Maybe he'll think its funny and like you even more because you're obviously a highly sexual individual. =)

194 9
ezflip 0

That is ******* hilarious... in a pedobear kinda way...

163 7

Comments

LittleMissMack 0

Parents tell embarrassing stories... it happens. I'm sure he's not going to freak out or anything. Maybe he'll think its funny and like you even more because you're obviously a highly sexual individual. =)

194 9
wintamint101 7

you USED too?

19 4
hippiechick91 0

I used to do that too. Little kids do that when they're younger. They don't realize what they're doing though. If it makes you feel better, I used to always ask for a twin brother. I never understood why I couldn't get one. I finally figured it out in fourth grade. But thank you for posting a real FML, not like others I've read. This one is a true FML.

2 0
rawrlily 0

When I was in 3rd grade I masturbated in media class. I got in trouble to say the least...

13 4
T9FTW 20

Sure he'll think it's funny... if he's a pedophile.

3 20
ezflip 0

That is ******* hilarious... in a pedobear kinda way...

163 7
Mace2040 1

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3 84
nova514 0

While not a majority by any means, lots of kids do this when they are little.

40 1
Palistus 0

I hope you realize what a complete bitch you sound like. As has been said many times before, this is not the first time something like this has happened, and just because you don't have sexual urges in kindergarten, does NOT mean you can't feel pleasure. And calling the OP a 'lying bitch' is just ****** up, how would you like it if some random f***tard called you that just because they are ignorant of the subject.

54 4
weissesengel 0

umm i did? it was kinda freekay but...ah funny times. its posdible so stfu!

3 10
cozzygirl 0

165-I used to do it so seriously shut up. it's weird and stuff but kids do it too.

13 1
heyyyaubrey 9

wow youre a ******* idiot.. dumb bitch.

0 0
SyndicatedAlias 0

My sisters and I all used to do that when we were little (not together, of course)...

84 4
TWSSMoment 0

that's nothin when I was younger my cousin sticked his dick into water bottels....and one time he got it stuck lmfao!

50 4
kristinash_baby 5

I did that when I was little

9 2
audreyy062 2

same @3 i did it too (how was i supposed to know what i meant) and when i found out my cousin did it too we didnt feel as bad so we would do it together (but not WITH each other =O) and OP, i would do it in preschool too, but again, i didnt know it was bad at the time...glad to know i wasnt the only one that did it...because im pretty sure my teacher told my mom about it...

16 1
KenMcGormick 0

whoa #3... girls do that since young to get high???

3 50
manyourlifesucks 0

Only got can understand what the hell your trying to say

30 3
manyourlifesucks 0

Damn now im gonna get bladted for making a typo

34 4
glass_doll83 0

oh my gosh There wa a girl in my 3rd grade class that used to rub herself all the time. And I didnt relize til years later what she was doing!

96 3
ubbernoob 0

nice. . . *aside* "from a young age I was predestined to be a chronic masturbator." roflcopter

25 8
GwennaRose 22

Ha now I don't feel so bad about figuring out orgasms by 4 years old

13 0
GeekN 0

apparently I used to hump legs, like a dog, and pillows. And I remember my dad telling me NOT to and I couldn't figure out why. Now I'm embarrassed to think about it....

101 2
sexiscool 0

you can to me now :)

4 11
musicbunny 1

me too I used to be all "rubby" and my mom would yell at me and I'd be like "why? it tickles." so mortifying just to think about it now

45 0
audreyy062 2

@musicbunny i know me too! i feel so wrong having done it but i always used to do it because it "felt good"

12 0
audreyy062 2

@musicbunny i know me too! i feel so wrong having done it but i always used to do it because it "felt good"

0 1
SomeRussianGirl 3

Lmao I thought I was the only one :T

13 0
fortunecookie_fml 0

my sister used to do this thing when she was that age called "swimming" where she would rub herself against the carpet in an awkward position. she did it behind the couches, my parents thought it was weird, but joked about it more than anything.

65 1
tinyrosie 21

This is such an old fml but I used to do the same thing when i was little omfg

8 0
Books4Me 0

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5 67
jebby011 0

uh not to be rude but, if you don't type on a name on your fml it automaticly says no name.

33 1
tttiffany 0

it's okay, we all have those moments! :)

21 0
Tempsey 0

I think it was meant to be a joke...

8 2
FatElie 0

If it was supposed to be a joke then she failed. I've heard Germans tell better jokes than that.

32 3
bamxitsxandreaa 8

#10.. Aw, way to have a blond moment.. >___< smh.

1 7
dudeman1212 22

Cant tell if troll... Or just stupid...

14 2
beannlove 7

it would appear that "books4me" hasnt read very many books ahaha

8 1