Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was rushing to get my 4 month-old daughter out of the car because I had diarrhea and need to get to a toilet ASAP. In the process of leaning in the backseat to grab her car seat, I smacked my head on the door hard and almost knocked myself out. Now I have a giant knot on my forehead. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML
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Top comments
Jarvo_666 6
Chaaarrrlieeee...
kaywalovestoflip 7
At least you're awesome enough to be called a unicorn.
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Comments (178)
LaneDoyleStoleMy 0
Your boyfriend is pure tard juice that makes no sense he's trying to be funny but is just plain old stupid. Fyl for real.
lkalili 7
I don't get it
jacobgibson28 0
eat a duck bitch
jacobgibson28 0
eat a duck bitch
Alastrina_fml 20
I have a better idea.... Look up "small joint manipulation" online [within a martial arts context] and the next time he does it, break his fingers so he'll stop poking it!!
MssusDolly 3
Well, at least unicorns are awesome, so that is a decent compliment for an embarrassing bump. However, your boyfriend is an ass for making fun of you and should be comforting you instead.
MischievousLoki 6
That sucks that you hit your head on the dashboard...But at least you became a Unicorn after that.
timeforsports 3
ouch! that must suck! :(
BoredomCentral 8
At least he isn't calling you "Horny the Unicorn".
jack_tells_truth 0
You're dating the prick, you deserve it. Next time try to find a nice guy, they'll take care of you instead of making it worse