Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving when this guy aggressively rode my tail and crossed over the yellow line to pass. He reached the stop light before I did, and I slowly pulled beside him and started clapping for this lunatic driver. He rolled down the window and said, "My daughter is in the hospital. How do I get there?" FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML
Today, while reviewing boxes of motorcycle parts, I noticed my neighbor's daughter gleefully watching me. I jokingly said, "Wanna do this?" and she let out a loud squee and got to work alone. A few hours later, the bike was ready for a test run. I had no idea how to even start building it. She's 14. FML
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Top comments
Ochi_fml 0
lol, that is funny!
azurablade 0
ew?
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Comments (123)
Fingers0689 0
lol hella win
olw25 0
hilarious
HunniHeart 4
LOL...
martinozmania 0
#11, YOU'RE a dumbass. Try making sure your spelling is correct before insulting someone.
chadwick110480 0
don't yell shit out the window of your car, nothing good ever comes of it.
kyarush 10
hahahahaha I have a zx6r I get a lot of attention. I would have said the same(:
lendahandmanda 0
I would hate you if you were my mom. YDI for trying to be cool or funny or whatever it is you were trying to do. It's one thing to joke with your daughter about saying it, or to say it with the window up when no one can hear besides the two of you, but not only did you embarrass yourself, but probably your daughter as well. But hey, keep acting like your in your 20s. I'm sure your daughter will love it. Hope that works out for you.
vetter_fml 0
I dunno. When I was little, my mom signaled a truck driver to pull his horn so I could hear it just so I'd have that experience. And upon reflection it's the motion for a handjob. Granted, her girl's sixteen, but I think the intention may have been good albeit naive.
lendahandmanda 0
I didn't realize you were a man. You still deserve it, but now I think it's hilarious instead of feeling bad for your daughter. Well, I do still feel bad for her to have a father who would yell "Get it up" at a random dude trying to be "super sick wit it" instead of minding his own business. Congrats on having a hot daughter though!
thisgirlraven 0
i agree with #40.
TropicalTulipz 0
freaking hilarious old perv