Kids: Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible,...

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 43 811

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 398

You deserved it 4 383

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

By anon. - 03/01/2011 11:37 - New Zealand

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 3 085

By E…… - 02/03/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 353

You deserved it 8 494

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 22:00

Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 1 633

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 370

You deserved it 57 963

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 32 269

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By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 143

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 946

You deserved it 7 755

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 22:00 - United States

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 102

You deserved it 119 784

jayhawk63 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:50

Don't be creepin on the young ladies-moral of that story. Your daughter is a smart little girl.

Inkspell 2

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

ohhh, that sucks..how old is your daughter? that's a terrible thing to say.

Comments

Inkspell 2

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

ohhh, that sucks..how old is your daughter? that's a terrible thing to say.

ryguy997 0

Friday 12 March 2010 6:23

one kid that won't be bullied..,

bluerhhajfk 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 15:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

corocoro 30

Saturday 17 August 2013 15:10

Sometimes the truth hurts.

TrippingOnAcid 29

Tuesday 11 November 2014 22:00

I don't know how old OP but there's nothing worse than being sexualised by men old enough to be your father.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 19 December 2015 22:20

155- I don't want to be sexualized "posts picture of wonderful cleavage as profile photo"

ams_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

wiiareonfire 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 6:02

Obviously, you aren't. "You're" should be "your" in YOUR usage of the word.

luckyyyme 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:42

...ouch.

frankoisdarkel 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:42

children are perceptive ..

tsax421 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:44

... you just got owned by your kid. nice job!

McLaughlane 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

Man, that's rough. :(

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:46

Burn!

jayhawk63 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:50

Don't be creepin on the young ladies-moral of that story. Your daughter is a smart little girl.

weavermycutecat 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 15:33

hahaa i know.

SadinSherman 16

Thursday 28 October 2010 20:03

It was weird he would do that with his child in the car.

Alice_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:51

Mid-life crisis alert!

jfpxiv 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:52

Ouch. Just... Ouch.

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Technology Mental health Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

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Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

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You deserved it 300

Today, while I was at my aunt's house with family, my grandpa needed to use the bathroom, so I guided him to it. There's a short staircase leading to it, and to my horror, he tumbled down it. I forgot he's going blind due to glaucoma and therefore couldn't see the steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 445

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 27 866

You deserved it 2 665

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 191

You deserved it 4 191

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 286

You deserved it 3 712

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 792

You deserved it 4 058

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 356

You deserved it 9 708

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 805

You deserved it 15 138

Same thing different taste

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