Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
More like **** the cat's life......
ohdamn_fml 2
Cats never listen to you, don't waste your breath. Buy a spray bottle
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
eschreib 0
whats wrong with talking to a cat? i talk to mine all the time
BEB131 0
Yes yes... funny.... you act like u didnt do anything wrong....cuz animal abuse is totally fine
thered 1
oh tell ur neighbour u'll do it them too lmao
bored724 0
dude, it's a CAT why on earth would you scold a cat
alliexdork 0
I agree with 43 & 44. I have conversations with my cat. Two-way convos even.. she answers me sometimes :)
nessie421 0
#4, That is not how you discipline a cat! Tapping them on the nose is extremely painful for them and only teaches them to fear you. Please read some books about how to be a good cat owner and stop giving bad advice. OP, You're a dick for yelling at your cat like that! WTF?!
earwig12 1
All of you people who say the OP is a bad person for yelling at their cat... you're stupid. The cat can't understand it; therefore it is acceptable to yell these things to blow off steam. All the cat will get out of it is that you are angry, which is true. Other than that, no damage done. You can't really verbally abuse a cat.
My2864 1
why the hell aere ya yelling at a cat? XD
MizzHollywood 0
either way how is that child abuse? And I yell at my dogs like that.
WildBill1337 0
even if it was a kid the OP was yelling at.......child abuse?! come on!? society is filled with sissies nowadays!