Miscellaneous: Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room....

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 007

You deserved it 3 013

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Same thing different taste

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 068

You deserved it 7 519

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 376

You deserved it 5 857

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 565

You deserved it 1 632

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 581

You deserved it 3 743

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 596

You deserved it 6 354

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 551

You deserved it 21 375

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 18 454

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 171

You deserved it 9 532

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 676

You deserved it 3 302

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 136

Saluton 18

Monday 26 October 2009 16:17

"minding your own business"? Does that mean masturbating?

netfreak 0

Monday 26 October 2009 16:15

BOOM! NUTSHOT

Comments

Houdeka 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:53

what the **** the advice guy your insane go cut yourself.

Cristaderzi 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:54

Omg I LOLED the hardest since I first got into FML!!!!

Wsupduck 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:06

that sucks dick lol

Ninjaface 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:33

It could have been worse. He could have been going for a donkey punch.

DaBombb316 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:36

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack lay on his back and get slapped in the dick....YIKES!

Cant_Touch_This_ 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 2:34

LMFAO. Dude, you pretty much made my ****** day.

cmac86 23

Tuesday 27 October 2009 7:17

for someone in college you really leave a lot to be desired when it comes to writing. granted, I'm not the best grammar example, but mine make sense.

livinginabook 24

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:42

*For **Granted ***makes Trolololol

doof_fisch 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 7:30

Make him kiss your owie.

blooregard 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 8:42

agreed he should kiss it better

Nesyaj0 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 2:25

AWW i felt that from over here.... ouch...

cruiser_r 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:56

i have never laughed out loud from fml before until now

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got fired from my first-ever job. Via text. I hadn't even started the first day but I'm expected to drive an hour and a half to my now ex-boss's house to return the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 375

You deserved it 498

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 858

You deserved it 8 391

Today, with a nagging feeling about my girlfriend cheating on me, I decided to look through her phone. She walked in on me, and before I could come up with an excuse, she rolled her eyes and said, "Go ahead. The only things I have to hide are saucy pics of Darth Maul." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 744

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 893

You deserved it 10 317

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 307

You deserved it 64 768

Today, I was trying to walk in heels. My mom then started cracking up, saying I looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk just after coming out of the womb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 234

Same thing different taste

It was an accident!

Love hurts

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