Miscellaneous: Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room....

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 2 992

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Same thing different taste

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 978

You deserved it 7 499

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 360

You deserved it 5 852

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 544

You deserved it 1 627

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 3 739

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 6 324

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 537

You deserved it 21 348

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 488

You deserved it 18 437

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 9 520

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 3 295

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Saluton 18

Monday 26 October 2009 16:17

"minding your own business"? Does that mean masturbating?

netfreak 0

Monday 26 October 2009 16:15

BOOM! NUTSHOT

Comments

bsias4ever 0

Monday 26 October 2009 17:20

haha...i would have punched him in the face either way xD

Rach_star 0

Monday 26 October 2009 17:48

I like him

TriNiBaByDoLL 0

Monday 26 October 2009 17:55

Okk...akward...is he gay?!?!

kukopia 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:55

Not really gay... but his b/f is.

tournamentdecide 33

Sunday 3 August 2014 9:47

dude, no ****

Skeltragor 0

Monday 26 October 2009 18:15

Look at the bright side, you must have big balls if he thought it looked like your ass.

Xathanos 16

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:26

#19 WTF no man has balls that big, if so i feel sad for them two butt sided underwear XD

sarcasticbitch 7

Monday 26 October 2009 19:04

Ok, you need a new roommate, why would he walk up to u for no reason and spank u rlly hard =x

TheKitsune 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:11

Ouch - funny, but ouch D:

Okie7123 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:18

No, he meant to nut-tap you. The "meaning to slap your ass instead" is a cop out so you don't think he's as big a douche as it appears

testing_fml 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:27

leave him alone, he and his roommate are just into kinky business, and aren't we all that?

nameexists 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:51

If you arent at MIZZOU YDI

chalkrocks 0

Monday 26 October 2009 20:13

If you are at Missou, then FYL

crzyry 6

Monday 26 October 2009 19:51

Lol, attempting to smack his ass doesn't make him gay. It's college, kids do alot of dumb pranks on each other. My advice for the OP is to steal his towel & clothes when he's showering & lock him out.