Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
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Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
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Top comments
Saluton 18
"minding your own business"? Does that mean masturbating?
netfreak 0
BOOM! NUTSHOT
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Comments (79)
bsias4ever 0
haha...i would have punched him in the face either way xD
Rach_star 0
I like him
TriNiBaByDoLL 0
Okk...akward...is he gay?!?!
kukopia 0
Not really gay... but his b/f is.
tournamentdecide 33
dude, no ****
Skeltragor 0
Look at the bright side, you must have big balls if he thought it looked like your ass.
Xathanos 16
#19 WTF no man has balls that big, if so i feel sad for them two butt sided underwear XD
sarcasticbitch 7
Ok, you need a new roommate, why would he walk up to u for no reason and spank u rlly hard =x
TheKitsune 0
Ouch - funny, but ouch D:
Okie7123 0
No, he meant to nut-tap you. The "meaning to slap your ass instead" is a cop out so you don't think he's as big a douche as it appears
testing_fml 0
leave him alone, he and his roommate are just into kinky business, and aren't we all that?
nameexists 0
If you arent at MIZZOU YDI
chalkrocks 0
If you are at Missou, then FYL
crzyry 6
Lol, attempting to smack his ass doesn't make him gay. It's college, kids do alot of dumb pranks on each other. My advice for the OP is to steal his towel & clothes when he's showering & lock him out.