Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
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Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
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Top comments
Monjara 4
Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.
llamafish 25
I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)
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Comments (230)
Uaiter 0
To be hones, it is a bit inmature to react like that, but i relate to him cos i was the same way with my gf, we never had time to be together with school and work, but as soon as we graduated she threw it away cos i was there for her, when she got it i understood it wasnt for the wrong reason, but because we talked things out instead just act jealous and hamg off, she even show it to me and it was smaller than my thing, have the op mention if it is a monster of a vibrator or just her bf size? . Is more about if the op wants the plastic more than her bf real thing or she just wants to be pleased at moments he isnt there.
Uaiter 0
Have the op mention if it is a monster of a vibrator or just her bf size? . Is more about if the op wants the plastic more than her bf real thing or she just wants to be pleased at moments he isnt there. Talk to your bf and clarify things, she doesnt have to throw away a relationship for this, dont get me wrong im just sayin this isnt that big of a deal everything can be talked.
Uaiter 0
Have the op mention if it is a monster of a vibrator or just her bf size? Is more about if the op reasons. Talk to your bf and clarify things. This isnt that big of a deal, it can be talked.
VainZayn 0
Pwned
picturescrazy 24
Use the vibrator with him next time. My boyfriend was insecure about mine so I suggested that I use it in front of him. He really liked the visual and doesn't mind it nearly as much since he knows that it's smaller than him. He even asks me to bring it over sometime to use while we go at it. If your vibrator is BIGGER though, don't bring it around him.
Lilybugg16 5
Ohh that is rude
sambudd14 2
Probably had a wank after that.
vivek585 5
OMG, this cracked me up! so funny! thanks FML!
thecubie123 0
Well im the 3000th person to agree that your life sucks
Oaky94 4
Sounds like my boyfriend... Haha