Health: Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take...

By owwwww - 19/07/2012 20:05 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 796

You deserved it 3 551

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 22:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 267

You deserved it 3 795

By Grand Slam - 10/09/2013 18:44 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 752

You deserved it 6 736

By Graham Watson - 01/07/2019 16:00

Today, I'm currently in hospital with a painful and swollen Achille's heel problem. I was dreaming of running down stairs. I then tripped on one, and as I whacked my foot on the stairs in my dream, I also raised my foot and whacked it on the end of the hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 179

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 322

You deserved it 4 957

By hawaiiansokkrboi - 19/04/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 333

You deserved it 10 714

By Grubendol - 15/12/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 618

You deserved it 6 009

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 18:58 - United States

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 863

You deserved it 8 901

Deserved it for the puns

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 02:00

Today, if anyone was wondering how my day was going, I woke myself up by kicking the wall. HARD. Pretty sure I broke my big toe. 10/10, TOE-tally TOE-rrific. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 216

Gooooooooooal!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 942

You deserved it 38 832

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 516

ant1078 7

Friday 20 July 2012 1:16

Way to go Beckham

NoKittyMyPotPie 3

Friday 20 July 2012 1:16

Interesting dream.

Comments

pdp_fml 21

Friday 20 July 2012 11:11

You are a true fan!

fadingaway 17

Friday 20 July 2012 12:46

Am I the only one who thought this was about rugby, not soccer?

bjf10 22

Friday 20 July 2012 15:26

Nope.

1crabbygirl 10

Friday 20 July 2012 13:57

No wonder you missed it! That wall got in your way. Dream big, OP.

LuckyLynx7732 5

Friday 20 July 2012 14:48

YDI just for dreaming about soccer. What a dumb sport...

chrisbravo 4

Friday 20 July 2012 14:55

USA in a soccer World Cup...You didn't know you were dreaming???

jamil001 4

Friday 20 July 2012 15:16

That dream is impossible because USA sucks at soccer!

GPAW 4

Friday 20 July 2012 17:36

You l know it's a dream when the US is at the world cup

monkeyhead641 6

Saturday 21 July 2012 0:13

I find it strange that people remember their dreams and they are perfectly normal. I have weird ass dreams and I barely ever remeber them

failmaster069 7

Saturday 21 July 2012 1:36

sleeping through broken toes to see the rest of your dream ftw

janerose21 3

Saturday 21 July 2012 1:39

Did you bend it like beckham!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 332

You deserved it 18 149

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 137

The Top

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 834

You deserved it 2 788

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 101

You deserved it 4 573

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 157

You deserved it 30 527

Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 116

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 6 363

Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 112

You deserved it 792

Same thing different taste

Deserved it for the puns

Gooooooooooal!

Party hard

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