Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
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Top comments
biggary19 3
looks like u found a keeper lol
lilspike2231 5
Then give him period blood.....jk lmao
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Comments (229)
minagiv 11
OMG, it's all of A sudden, not all of THE sudden!!! ELEMENTARY GRAMMAR!!!! #PetPeeve Sorry. He's a creeper. Get rid of him.
BUFFAL0H 0
dude... chill. who cares if they spelt it wrong?
DocBastard 40
People who respect the English language care about it, that's who. If you don't care, then feel free to type and sound like an idiot like a lot of the commenters here.
InASortOfRunicRh 0
That's one of my pet peeves too. That, 'suppose to' and 'use to' are the worst! :D
Zebidee 9
Nah, 'prolly' beats them all.
BUFFAL0H 0
who gives a **** this isnt school. stop making a big deal of everything
sarahjane666 0
Geeet over it.
jewels1877 0
Yum. Nose blood. Just give it to Edward Cullen. He's such a pansy, I'm sure he'll enjoy human blood from a guy.
shift_love 13
omg shut up with the twilight references
KMilliron 2
Don't worry, I giggled!
zendaddy0 0
lol he's so in the closet he's in nardia
krazy_glu3 0
nardia? fail.
enonymous 9
Where's the vial of your blood in return? In some 3rd world countries this means you're married! time to update the facebook status!
radicaloser 6
Awuh well you know, I was honestly thinking about giving him a vial in return.. But I can't cut myself anywhere on my body, and well, slicing my nose with a razor just doesn't sound too appetizing to me, if you can imagine.
Quasar55_fml 18
Plus, as far as I know, the US are uh .... not considered a third world country ^_^
docscientist 10
Well..uhh...there is that once a month thing you do. Don't tell him where it came from though or he'll think your taking shortcuts by not inflicting unnecessary pain on yourself.
KMilliron 2
Bite the inside of your lips. Haha. I make jewelry and I'm wondering how people would react to pendants with blood encased in them... Does that make me weird?
radicaloser 6
haha, oh yes I'll just fill him a vial with my monthly blood, I'm sure he'll really enjoy that. I don't think I'd get enough blood from biting my lips anyways.
KMilliron 2
Then you're not doing it right.
TheNewGuy03 29
so, just a question, but do you guys *have* to generate these HORRIBLE mental images? no worries, keep it comin'. |the kid|
LezGirl87 0
Ouch!!!
Dallyni 22
Atleast he didn't ask you to drink it!
coolwhiplova 1
In your picture did you add the "rawr"
Dallyni 22
Yup
TraceCase_ 19
Uhh, U still like him???
radicaloser 6
I do, I mean, he's still a sweetie pie, just a little out there... We'll just see if he progresses to biting my neck open or asking me to drink his blood..
KMilliron 2
Little out there sweetie pies are the best sweetie pies in my opinion.
Trixcia_fml 0
I'm scared...
ASHLEYbcddd 0
Uhm. Creeper. Lmao
mismonroe 0
How sweet. Razor blade to the ****** now and I think you two are legally married in Haiti.
lola_94 0
LOL
roblaycle 3
ok
TayonaC 10
not funny
mismonroe 0
Thank GOD you logged on today to point this out! Sarcasm's STILL a bitch.
keepcalm18 0
I put "totally deserved it" because the post says "all of the sudden". HA.
radicaloser 6
Ha, wow, yeah I realized that I put that, and now sound like a hick. (Nothing wrong with hicks). But oh well, it was late and I was sleepy when I posted it, but I don't think most people even notice my grammatical error, well, hopefully.