Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, while volunteering to feed the homeless, one of them asked me to follow him to his car where he had a knife and bottle so he could "bottle up my blood". FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
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Top comments
biggary19 3
looks like u found a keeper lol
lilspike2231 5
Then give him period blood.....jk lmao
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Comments (229)
Dustin_Pedobear 9
Think of it as him giving you the "key to his heart". It's not a good or bad thing, although to be honest the blood is usually filled from the wrist, though the nose isn't rare.
kaengelangeleyes 9
No, its so incredibly far from normal or healthy. Its ******* batshit insane that he gave her a vial of blood. Hes ****** up, Im sorry. Also, you kind of look like Eminem in your profile pic, ahah.
denvan 0
Looks like someone is into Twilight
What_Exactly 0
That's bloody awful...
alixbby603 0
why did you even ask?
radicaloser 6
well I was curious, and a little bit worried that he had cut himself for the blood.
feverdog88 0
so if it hadn't come out of his nose, then the op would be completely ok with it. but since it did its a fml? who the hell gives ppl blood samples to prove their love?
FoxFeathers 3
Me. Rings are metal, and other things sort of commercial and impersonal. My man gets my heart, my most valued possession, so to keep him close when he is away he got part of me. It made sense to me. OP-But I understand would be strange if you are not close to him. But realize he is probably madly in love with you, so be kind, please!
unknown_547 0
least you can send away for an AIDS check. looks like you might need to!
amazing_j 1
Run, Forrest, run!!!
ohyeahParis_fml 0
bet you wont be so ****** curious next time
heyu7421 0
Why r u hanging out with satans spawn? Mysterious men r not the ones u want to be with. Wait til he grows out of that fase
Chelsee45 5
run..