Work: Today, a large number of people at my office don't realize that... - FML

By Anonymous

Today, a large number of people at my office don't realize that if the door to a stall is locked, it's occupied. While I can somewhat deal with people needlessly asking if it's occupied, what I can't deal with is someone looking over the stall to check. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4701

You deserved it

223

Tweet

Share

There's no helping some people

Death at one's elbow

Thanks, Marley

By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

The customer is always an ass

Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27279

You deserved it

1609

Tweet

Share

By why does the world hate me - Canada - Toronto

Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20449

You deserved it

1647

Tweet

Share

By

Golden shower

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1604

You deserved it

355

Tweet

Share

By wvugirl - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61685

You deserved it

5434

Tweet

Share

By Today - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35216

You deserved it

6566

Tweet

Share

By Sally

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2500

You deserved it

777

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53268

You deserved it

11741

Tweet

Share

By Boob - United Kingdom

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9610

You deserved it

34814

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9326

You deserved it

36283

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her dog decided take a loud dump in front of the fan that was pointed at us. Needless to say, intercourse ended very abruptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2871

You deserved it

313

Tweet

Share

By CHStennis_4 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks

41205

You deserved it

3850

Tweet

Share

By Dfacta - United States

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36195

You deserved it

3174

Tweet

Share

By itsEVERYWHERE - United States

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36996

You deserved it

2623

Tweet

Share

By Whoops - United States

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29207

You deserved it

42228

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24585

You deserved it

4509

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10203

You deserved it

28351

Tweet

Share

By wellesleybanana - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks

97044

You deserved it

4653

Tweet

Share

By Oliveisthenewora - United States - Dearborn

Today, I tried a DIY face mask that involved using turmeric spice. After keeping it on for 20 minutes, I tried washing it off, but I couldn't get rid of the orange residue it had left behind. Guess who's going to work tomorrow looking like an Oompa Loompa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18181

You deserved it

7241

Tweet

Share

By lalalalainie - United States - Fullerton

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11724

You deserved it

35303

Tweet

Share

By youmakemesick - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38479

You deserved it

2727

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34222

You deserved it

8681

Tweet

Share

By just me - Germany - Overath

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks

26096

You deserved it

3458

Tweet

Share

By Devil's Pigeon

Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4170

You deserved it

382

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16549

You deserved it

76559

Tweet

Share

By thatonegirl.SBS. - United States - El Cajon

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27222

You deserved it

2169

Tweet

Share

By demispark - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45207

You deserved it

4826

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58042

You deserved it

4941

Tweet

Share

By John - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8353

You deserved it

57794

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I met my favourite singer, but when she signed my CD, the marker was out of ink. By the time I realised there was no signature, she was already gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3067

You deserved it

383

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36758

You deserved it

3334

Tweet

Share

By dammitrain - United States

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36394

You deserved it

8439

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - New Albany

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27837

You deserved it

1904

Tweet

Share

By Becca_Jo - United States - Caledonia

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20975

You deserved it

1645

Tweet

Share

By marisacb - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32211

You deserved it

7690

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36819

You deserved it

11165

Tweet

Share

By yolomane

He does not care!

Today, I was walking to the bus stop for school. And the bus drove past me, I chased it and fell in a puddle, my boyfriend was in the bus, and he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1956

You deserved it

242

Tweet

Share

By dad - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34266

You deserved it

82944

Tweet

Share

By Wheresthecreamfilling

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11017

You deserved it

1858

Tweet

Share

By failure461 - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12544

You deserved it

41822

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15121

You deserved it

40990

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Exaspera | 54

#7443816 - Monday 24 April 2017 23:51

Carry a squirt gun.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7443782 - Monday 24 April 2017 22:14

Can you deal with people crawling under the stall to check?

COMMENTS

By Allie614032 | 34

#7443593 - Monday 24 April 2017 13:41

"Occupided"? Lol aside from that, yeah, that really sucks. FYL.

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7443782 - Monday 24 April 2017 22:14

Can you deal with people crawling under the stall to check?

By Exaspera | 54

#7443816 - Monday 24 April 2017 23:51

Carry a squirt gun.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7443829 - Tuesday 25 April 2017 0:51

They want to see if you're close to finishing.

Are you wiping your ass or posting hilarious comments on FML?

By praahe | 8

#7443837 - Tuesday 25 April 2017 1:19

Couldn't be bothered to say "Someone's in here" after they jiggled the door?

Reply

RockPrincess26 | 16

#7443845 - Tuesday 25 April 2017 1:34

I think OP means that they still peek after doing that. Or they just straight up peek which is creepy.

By RockPrincess26 | 16

#7443846 - Tuesday 25 April 2017 1:35

How dumb can people be?

By rhiannonleesarah | 14

#7443869 - Tuesday 25 April 2017 3:57

Now if they were quite young I could understand as people sometimes lock the doors then squeeze underneath as a prank but in a workplace that's weird