Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML
Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
EffYoLife 14
well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)
EmmjayHEY 0
smooooooth
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Comments (102)
jchansfan 0
WTF is with everyone feeling sorry for the friend. He deserved it more than the OP does. That's what he gets for cheating. The only real victim in this story is the girlfriend. The cheating friend shouldn't have cheated, and I don't think exposing him is really that bad a thing to do, maybe the OP's subconcious knew it was wrong that the relationship continue on with tahe remaining hidden. I personally give the OP props, at least the girlfriend now knows what happened. Thoiugh if it wasn't something subconcious,. I'm not sure how the OP made such a slip. That's such a long sentence to say without realizing where you're headed... lmao Props to the OP, sorry to the girlfriend, and YDI to the boyfriend.
thesadpiggy 0
well it's not your fault that he cheated...
dragonflygal 0
he deserved it
Paige_Nicole10 0
this sounds more like your friends fml or even more appropriate his girlfriends not yours
joemk2012 0
You're a first-class jerk, OP!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Oh, okay, the OP is the jerk? That cheating ****** deserved to be outed.
Reality_bites 14
Its not the OP's fault he cheated. Assuming she is also good friends with the girlfriend, this puts her in an awkward situation. She tells she loses his friendship, if she doesnt and the girlfriend finds out about him cheating and the fact that that the OP knows about it, there goes that friendship. So tell me, how is this fair on the OP?
benderbang48 4
hey its a guy
happyhak 5
Haha! Owned! FYL!
HXCxSceneKidx 0
Ahaa u should have told her earlier. Bitch
aka_candy6 3
To "Reality_bites" (#30): fyi, the poster is a man. why do people just assume that if someone blurts something out, that someone is a girl? pathetic.
Reality_bites 14
oh give me a break. So I got the pronouns wrong. It is still an awkward situation.
brandothemando 0
wow....censoring dick